Random Firings of Neurons

Some reviews to make up for not posting....

2007-05-27T13:27:00.001-07:00

Okay, since it's been a while since I've actually...you know...posted anything, I'm going to do some reviews, to (hopefully) get myself back in the swing of things. Not promising anything, but...I'm going to give a good college try.

Review 1: Music

I'm not exactly the 'normal' music fan. I have very eclectic tastes, and may like a 'lesser' song or musician from a particular genre, while not liking the 'better' songs or musicians. In addition, I happen to like some musicians and music that most people don't exactly brag about liking, like Barry Manilow or Celine Dion. Because of that, many times, my favorite albums are the albums most despised by 'true' music fans: "Best Of..." albums. They have the songs I like, and don't have quite as many songs I don't.

All that being said, I think I've found two of the "Best Of..." albums that are near required for just about anyone over the age of 30. They are "60s Gold" and "Ultimate 70s", both published by Time-Life. They're anthologies of songs that pretty much defined those two decades, but, NOT the most popular songs of those decades. Trust me, if you grew up in the 70s and 80s, these two albums have almost every song that lurks deep in your conscious from that time period. They're about $35 apiece, but...they're worth it. Each set (each one is three CDs) is a trip down memory lane.

Out of 114 songs between the two sets, I have 99 of them on my music playlist. 99 out of 114. 86% of the songs are on my playlist. I have albums from some of my favorite bands that don't have that high of a percentage of songs that are at least "won't change the station if the song is on".

Here's a partial list of the 'must have' (to me) songs from each set:

60s Gold:

Classical Gas-Mason Williams (if you've been to a movie theater in the past 20 years, you've probably heard the entire song...just not all at one time)
Windy and Along Comes Mary-The Association (those two songs are almost enough to get me to hunt for a "Best Of The Association" album...)
The Rain, The Park, and Other Things-The Cowsills (if you're my age, you know the song, even if you don't know it by the title)
American Pie-Don McLean (best rock song ever written...easy to get on other anthologies, though)
(Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay-Otis Redding (obscure minor trivia about me...I've been to his birth place and death place: Savannah, GA, and Lake Monona in Madison, WI, respectively.)
Monday, Monday and California Dreamin'-The Mamas and the Papas (top ten greatest harmonies EVER...hard to say who's better, the Mamas and the Papas, or The Association)
Bus Stop-The Hollies (...how does a band sound change its sound THAT many times, and sound so good each time?! They'll appear again...)

Ultimate 70s.

Nights in White Satin-Moody Blues (not actually enough to get me to buy the album...Days of Future Past and Best of the Moody Blues are both common, and have this song, plus a bunch of others that are just as good. Best of Moody Blues is practically Days of Future Past, though...almost all of their hits came of that album)
Stuck in the Middle With You-Stealers Wheel (...can't hear this song without thinking of Mr Pink and that stupid little dance...and what follows)
Werewolves of London-Warren Zevon (thankfully, I don't remember Tom Cruise's stupid dance to this song)
Smoke on the Water-Deep Purple
Still the One-Orleans
Dust in the Wind-Kansas (most bands, if this was their only hit, could call it a career...Kansas kept going)
Long Cool Woman (In a Black Dress)-The Hollies (told you they'd show up again)
He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother-The Hollies (...HOW!?)

Those are just the songs I'd consider paying money for. There are quite a few others that I wouldn't pay money for, but, am certainly not upset I got them thrown in.

Basically, Time-Life did a great job finding not the most popular songs of those two decades, but, most of the most memorable songs. If you even remotely enjoyed the music of your childhood and are in your 30s, 40s, or 50s, you should consider buying these two sets. They're worth it.

Review 2: Coffee makers.

For Christmas, my sister bought me a Senseo coffee maker. I wanted to try one, but, didn't want to shell out the money ($60) for something I wasn't sure I'd like. The reviews I'd read of the Senseo were too subjective to be useful to me. Almost every review I read mentioned how strong the coffee was, and that you had to make several cups with the same pods to get a drinkable cup. But, what if I LIKE strong coffee?!

After using the Senseo for six months, I can say definitely "It's worth the money". It's not a perfect cup of coffee, but, it's FAR better than you'd find in ANY restaurant or coffee shop. The quibbles I have with it are easily balanced out by the things I like about it.

Quibbles:

Senseo's definition of "a cup of coffee" and my definition are approximately 150% off. Senseo considers a "cup of coffee" to be 4 oz. I consider a cup of coffee to be, minimum, 10 oz, preferably 16 oz. So, I have rarely used the "one cup" button. Because of this, I go through the pods at an obscene rate. (One pod makes one cup, two pods make two cups) There are either 16 or 18 pods per bag (flavored coffees have 16 pods per bag, regular coffee has 18 per bag), and I use two pods per cup of coffee...that means I go through several bags every weekend day, and a bag every two or three days during the week. The bags of pods are about $4 a piece, for 4 oz of grounds, making the pods about $16 a pound. That's a little steep for coffee. Not unreasonable, but...a little steep.

The water reservoir is...tiny. It only holds enough water for two cups of coffee (my cups...it holds 4 cups of Senseo's cups). You can buy a larger reservoir...for $20 more. Hm. I'm not sure if it's worth paying another $20 to have not fill the reservoir every two cups of coffee...but, it sure is a pain having to fill it every two cups.

One pod per Senseo cup makes coffee on the low end of "Highly drinkable". Two pods per Senseo cup makes coffee right at the middle of "Highly drinkable". Two pods per Senseo cup means I'm using 4 pods per my cup of coffee...that's 4 of my cups of coffee per bag of pods, at $3 a bag...that's a bit steep for even really good coffee.

Likes:

Highly drinkable coffee less than three minutes after I have the hankerin' for a cup of coffee. It takes about 2 minutes for the water to warm up, and about 1 minute for the coffee to brew after that. After the water is warmed up, you have a cup of coffee every minute or so, for as long as you keep the pods changed and reservoir filled. Mmmm....coffee.

For $10 and some hunting, you can buy your own reusable pod, so you can use your own ground coffee in the Senseo. It's not easy to do, and it takes A LOT of experimenting to find the right measurements and grind to get it down to where you like it, but, once you do, it can be worth it. Kenyan coffee on demand....mmmm....coffee.

I make a better cup of coffee with a grinder, beans and a drip coffee maker. It also takes me 20 minutes to get coffee when I do that. Hm....20 minutes for great coffee versus 3 minutes for *only* darn good coffee. I'll take "Darn Good Coffee in 3 Minutes" for $100, please, Alex.

If you like good, strong coffee, and don't really like waiting for it, the Senseo is the gizmo for you. The Black and Decker Home Cafe is pretty much the same beast, with a slightly different set up. If you're careful, you can even use the pods interchangeably (the Folger's pods for the Home Cafe are just a hair thicker than the Douwe Egbert pods for the Senseo...you can feel the pressure on the hinge when you close the top.).

All told, the prices associated with either the Home Cafe or Senseo are worth it, for the convenience. It's not the greatest cup of coffee you'll ever drink, but, it's darn good, and it's darn quick. Would I spend close to $100 to buy one (after all the add-ons), just to have coffee quickly? Yup.

Ok, that's it, for now. Maybe in the next couple of days, I'll get some more stuff up.

In the interests of continuing friendships....

2007-02-12T18:30:00.000-08:00

..I won't Fisk Harvey's post about atheism. It would just take too long, and I'd have to stomp on some egos to do it.

In the comments of the post, I made a reference to being able to use logic, reason, and observable science to prove the existence of *A* creator. That is absolutely true. About 4,000 years ago (give or take a couple of hundred years), a bunch of barely literate shepherds had a run-in with a being who claimed to be self-existent, meaning, he needed nothing else in order to exist. He existed merely by existing. Fast forward about 1,500 years, and an amateur philosopher deduced, using pure logic ALONE, that a self-existent being must logically exist in order for the Universe to be here. Fast forward to today, and, for some reason I cannot fathom, theists and atheists alike operate under the idiotic and irrational notion that the existence of *A* creator can't be proven. For centuries, humans have logically deduced the existence of things that they had no hope of ever being able to prove, such as the planet Pluto (I don't give a flying leap what some idiotic astronomers have decided about Pluto. It's a 'planet' on this blog.), which later generations proved, BY USING THE LOGICAL DEDUCTIONS OF THE PREVIOUS GENERATIONS! The planet Pluto was only found because the astronomer looked in the area of the sky that someone several hundred years ago deduced it would be. No such discovery method is necessary for the existence of *A* creator, since, at one's death, one will get to find out, one way or another.

Now, here, and at Harvey's, and at other sites, I have mentioned that I happen to know the logical and rational proofs for the existence of *A* creator, but, have never actually posted them. Well, actually, I did, in the comments of a thread at Original Musings. But, I haven't done it any other time, quite simple because it would be a waste of my time. You see, ALL objections to the existence of *A* creator are morally, not logically or rationally, based, so, providing a logical proof to a moral dilemma would be counter-productive. The atheist isn't looking for Reason. They're looking for justification, or absolution. Telling them that, yes, there really IS someone/something that just *might* take offense to their immoral behavior exacerbates the problem. It doesn't solve it. So, until I'm actually asked for it, I don't provide the proof, because it wouldn't do either of us any good.

Want it? Ask for it. But, once you get it, you ARE responsible for what you do with it. Doing what you have been doing is no longer an option. If there really is *A* creator (and there is), then, you owe EVERYTHING you have to he/she/it. Once *A* creator exists, He gets to make the rules, not you.

Stupid memes

2006-12-22T17:28:00.000-08:00

So, evidently, Harvey, of Bad Example, is less than thrilled with my recent blog output, so he tagged me with a meme. Yay for me. I'll take the stupid hint, and complete the meme, and I won't even complain about it. Too much.

1. Wrapping paper, or gift bags? When I can't bribe, cajole, threaten, or just plain annoy someone into doing my wrapping for me, gift bags. I'm not a big fan of spending all than time and effort making something look pretty, knowing that it's just so someone can shred it before my eyes.

2. Real tree, or artificial? Neither? I hate Christmas trees of any sort. But, if I absolutely *had* to get one, it would be a real tree. It would also be a Charlie Brown real tree. Easier to decorate.

3. When do you put up the tree? I don't. Seriously. I haven't laid a hand upon a Christmas tree in almost two decades.

4. When do you take the tree down? Pre-emptively. See #3.

5. Do you like eggnog? Eh. Some years I like it, and some years, I don't. I don't think I've ever actually had it with booze in it, though...and now that I rarely drink alcohol, it is unlikely I ever will.

6. Favorite gift you received as a child? Hm. I don't actually remember actually...*liking*...any of my gifts, but, since I had a lot of Legos as a child, I'd have to assume I got some of them for Christmas, which would mean that I liked the Legos gifts the best, since I still entertain fantasies of buying entire Lego product lines.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? No.

8. Hardest person to buy for? My sister. It is unlikely I'll ever be able to actual figure out what she wants, since we don't really have that much in common any more, so, I have no frame of reference to even try to WAG a gift for her.

9. Easiest person to buy for? My mother. I can usually guess what she's going to like. I just don't know if she alreay has it.

10. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards? What are these "Christmas cards" you speak of?

11. The worst Christmas present you ever received? Orders to Saudi Arabia. Seriously. We received our orders to deploy to Saudi Arabia on December 24th, 1990. If you're keeping score at home, Kuwait was invaded in August of 1990.

12. Favorite Chrstmas movie? We're No Angels. The original, with Humphrey Bogart, Peter Ustinov, Basil Rathbone, some other old school actors, and Adolf. Adolf is the star of the movie. Watch it this Christmas. You won't be disappointed. Oh...I should mention...it's a comedy. With Humphrey Bogart. And Peter Ustinov. And Basil Rathbone. I have nearly lost consciousness from laughing...and that was the THIRD time I had seen it. I've seen it at least five more times since, and I still lose the ability to speak or breathe frequently.

13. When do you start shopping? Hm...Christmas is the 25th, right? So...that means I usually start shopping no earlier than the 20th. The 24th, if I can get away with it.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No. Almost every Christmas present I have ever received had too much practical use, so, I was too busy using the presents to give them to someone else. I *should* explain that this is the reason why I don't really remember actually liking any of my Christmas presents. It's not that I disliked them. It's just that they had a practical use, rather than an entertainment use, so, "favorite" didn't really apply. It's kind of like asking which is your favorite screwdriver, a #2 Phillips head, or a #2 slot head. What are you using it for?

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christams? Um...I'm the idiot responsible for the unbelievable amount of fruitcake produced in the US, since I'm pretty sure all those fruitcakes eventually make it to me...and get eaten. So, blame me the next time someone gives you a fruitcake. Don't worry. I'll eat that one, too. mmmm.....fruitcake.

16. Clear lights, or colored lights? Invisible. Or, in a pinch, non-existent.

17. Favorite Christmas song? "Do You Hear What I Hear?". Or "The Little Drummer Boy". Backup song? Anything by Nat King Cole. I'd pay to hear him sing the phone book.

18. Travel at Christmas, or, stay home? If it's up to me, stay home. With the phone off, and the door locked. When it's not up to me, I travel. It's usually not up to me.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? The snarky part of me wants to say "Yes. Neither of them had names." (Santa originally just had one, or two reindeer. The others were added later by a not-entirely annoying song.) The tired-of-being-a-Scrooge part of me says "Yes. Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder and Blitzen." And, yes, I spelled Donder's name right. It's German for "thunder"...which would go just fine with his sleighmate Blitzen...who is "lightning". AND, originally, Rudolph's name was Randolph. Aren't you just thrilled you asked that question?

20. Angel on the top, or a star? Charlie Brown trees are barely sufficient to support hold a ball, much less a star or an angel. That's if I had a tree, though. I don't.

21. Open the presents on Christmas Eve, or morning? Whatever is the most practical for scheduling. I've opened presents as early as the 18th (this year), and as late as January 19th (this year, as well. Do the math, you'll figure it out.)

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Hm...that's a long list to choose from. I guess I'd have to say the commercialization of a pagan holiday, celebrated with pagan rituals, on a date that has NOTHING to do with the birth of my Lord and Savior. After that...everything else is somewhat petty. (For the record, the best semi-educated guess to the real birthday of Jesus bar Joseph is September 22nd. That's the most likely, but, not the most certain, date. Sometime between the beginning of August and the end of October is the only time period possible. Shepherds aren't out in the fields with their sheep in the middle of winter, nor were taxes collected at that time. December 25th has nothing to do with Jesus's birthday.)

23. Do you have JeSus in your heart this Christmas? I try. That's all I can say. (that capitalisation in the middle of His name isn't accidental. I really can't profane the Name above all Names.)

24. What would like for Christmas? Probably not getting it, so, not going to bother mentioning it. Wanting what I do not have hasn't done me much good in the past.

I'm not going to purposely pass this on, so, if y'all want to answer it, go ahead. I'm just not going to 'force' anyone to. Yeah, I'm a killjoy. Call it "getting in the Christmas spirit", if you want.

The Answers

2006-08-03T18:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, here are the answers to my little quizzes.

If you can only do ONE of these, which is more important? Caring, or doing?

The obvious answer is "doing", of course. And, this time, the obvious answer is the correct answer.

One cannot "do" without "caring", and one can "care" without "doing", so, "doing" is the most important one, because it is the only one that can't exist without the other.

But...

Just about everyone will respond "doing" to that question, and then, spend ZERO thought on what that means.

What it means, ladies and gentlemen (and you, too, Harvey), is that what you DO determines what you care about.

Take a week, and chart the time you spend on each and every activity you do. Add the times up at the end of the week, and you will now have a good idea of what you care about, because you'll have a record of what you did.

For the vast majority of Americans, work is their number one care, since they spend the most amount of time there. Watching television is their number two care. Talking with friends and family is usually right near the bottom of the list.

That makes me sick. It should make you sick, too.

Now, you've already answered that doing is more important than caring. So, what are YOU going to do about that?

I buy a pair of shoes for $30. I mark the shoes up to $60, and you buy them. Who profits from this deal?

This has already been discussed in the comments to the quiz. If you didn't read the comments, the answer is "we both profit".

I make $30, and you have a new pair of shoes. We both have something more than we started with, so, we both profit.

There is no mention of coercion, nor of deception. If either one of those was present, then, only I would profit, since I would have stolen from you. Even if I left you with the pair of shoes, I still stole $60 from you. So, only I would profit.

But, the interesting thing about that question is the varying responses you can get from people. The ONLY answer is "We both do. I make $30, and you have a new pair of shoes. (or vice versa. order is unimportant)". Adding anything to it tells me more about the person answering the question than they really wanted to tell me. By adding to the answer, that person has just told me what concerns them the most about a free market exchange.

Ponder that for a while.

What statistic will give you the best idea of a team's chances of winning a particular game?

As Harvey correctly pointed out, the ending score is 100% accurate for determining the chances of team winning a game.

During the game, the score is also the most accurate method, since the team with the highest score at any point has the best chance of winning.

Before the game? No statistic is useful, truthfully. Every statistic that is used before the game is merely a representation of how the team has performed in the past...and as any good stock broker will tell you, past performance isn't the best judge of future activity. It is *A* judge, but, not the *best* judge.

Only while the game is being played can you assess a team's chances of winning. And the score is the ONLY statistic that will let you do that.

What can you do to get any problem to go away?

Ignore it long enough.

Not all problems have solutions. It's high time we got that idea into our heads. Everyone has this problem of only 24 hours in a day. No solution to that problem. (actually...there are some people for whom the problem is that there are too MANY hours in the day...I've been there) Everyone has the problem of death. Everyone has the problem of needing food, air, and water. None of these problems have solutions. So, get the idea out of your head that the solution to every problem is to fix it. You can't.

Now, the problem with this answer is that ignoring a problem long enough WILL make the problem go away, but...usually, by causing greater problems. So, ignoring the problem long enough isn't actually a good way of solving the problem.

There's got to be a middle ground, right? Yes, there is.

Every time you are faced with a problem, ask yourself a couple of questions:

1. Is there a solution to the problem?
2. If I ignore the problem, will a greater problem arise?

By asking yourself those two simple questions, you'll put the problem into a perspective that you can now deal with. Sure, there ARE problems that don't have solutions, and WILL cause greater problems if ignored. Those, you just have to deal with. Sorry. Anyone who told you life was fair was lying to you.

How many hours of classes must you require someone to take before they are educated?

Again, Harvey hit this one on the head.

Attending a class is no garauntee you will become educated. Some of the least educated, ignorant people I have ever met have more degrees than a thermometer, and I know quite a few educated people who have spent the minimum time possible for a high school graduate in classes (and, in my case, LESS than the minimum time possible...attendance wasn't my strong point) and be very educated.

The next time you hear about someone being mandated to attend a "sensitivity class", or other such nonsense class, feel sorry for them. It was forced upon them by an uneducated, well-schooled buffoon.

How many competing theories are there of how the universe was created?

Harvey *almost* got this one right.

He's right, in that it IS a trick question. He's just wrong about WHY it's a trick question.

There aren't any competing theories of how the Universe was created. There is only ONE theory. All matter (hence, the Universe) didn't exist at some point, and then, matter existed, therefore, being created. That's the 'how'.

The only competing theories are in WHO created it. In that field, there are only two theories that have any relevance: Judeo-Christo-Muslim Creation (I lump Islam in with Judeo-Christianity ONLY because they have the same Creation theory), and self-creation (matter created itself). No other theories are relevant, nor have any significant following.

Read up on logic sometime, and tell me which theory of WHO created the Universe makes sense. It will be illustrative.

(There are also disputes between the two WHO theories on WHEN, WHY, and WHERE. Too long a discussion to go into here.)

Harvey then dodges the correct answer by saying "science isn't about religion". Hm. That's funny. The entire set of physics 'laws', as we know them, were created by an Anglican theologian, and an Orthodox Jew, both of whom claimed that they were only interested in figuring out the rules that God used to create the Universe.

The only significant advance to the science of physics by an atheist were the 'Laws' of Logic that Aristotle used to prove that the Greek gods were insufficient to account for the Universe, so, another, greater god must exist. For that, he was branded an atheist.

Oh...before I forget...atheism is a religion, too. Look up the definition of "religion" sometime. Atheism meets several of the definitions.

Tomorrow, when I'm not so tired, I'll explain why these type of questions have been tugging at my skull for the past few days. (I thought of at least three more, just today.) It's actually relevant to all of your lives. I'll give you a hint: it's a concept so simple, most people don't understand it.

Quizzes and such.

2006-07-31T17:06:00.000-07:00

There are times when you need to quickly determine another person's grasp of a discussion topic, so you can figure out how indepth to get with the discussion. For most people, this is really difficult. So, to aid some of you, I have some quick, one question quizzes to determine a person's knowledge base on a particular subject. If a person can't answer the quiz correctly, they really have no business discussing the topic at hand. So, without further ado, here are the three I can think of:

Politics

If you can only do ONE of these, which is more important? Caring, or doing?

Economics

I buy a pair of shoes for $30. I mark the shoes up to $60, and you buy them. Who profits from this deal?

Sports

What statistic will give you the best idea of a team's chances of winning a particular game?

With all three of these quizzes, you can quickly determine whether or not the person you are talking to has ANY clue of the topic at hand. If the correct answer isn't given, then, walk away, and find someone who knows what they're talking about.

I'll give the answers to those questions in the comments in a couple of days. Feel free to put your answers in the comments, too, plus, any ohter one question quizzes you can think of.

Have fun! (I'm almost willing to bet that most of you won't get all three correct, and about half of you will only get one correct. But, that's just a guess on my part.)

Okay, thought of another one.

Problem Solving

What can you do to get any problem to go away?

How Legends are made.

2006-07-24T14:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, so, an American, Floyd Landis, won the Tour de fwance again. Whoopee. Big deal.

Don't get me wrong. I am ecstatic that an American won the Tour de fwance, but, after delving into the race a little bit, Floyd winning the Tour isn't nearly as impressive as HOW he won the race. I've read several commentaries, from analysts, cyclists, and competitors, and all of them have said that Floyd's win was the stuff of legends, a finish that will be talked about in cycling for decades. Cyclists will tell their children "I was there when Floyd won the Tour." Team owners will tell their young upstarts "You didn't see Floyd win the Tour. Shut up and listen." Fans will say, decades later "That was a good race by X, but, it has nothing on Floyd's win at the Tour".

Am I exaggerating? I don't think so. Way back when, when I was a lot younger and in a lot better shape, I used to cycle as training for my real passion, running. So, I know a little bit about how bicycle races are run and won. So, now, I'm going to try to tell you why Floyd Landis' win at the 2006 Tour de fwance is the stuff of legends. I'll be guessing about some of the things, and some of the details won't be correct, but...I assure you, the nature and spirit of his victory is what I'm after, and what I'm trying to convey, not the petty details.

This year's Tour was a wide open mess from the get-go. Lance Armstrong, who had owned the Tour for the past 7 years, was now retired. Several of the other favorites (past winners and perenial 2nd- and 3rd- placers) had been disqualified for various reasons. (2 for connection to a blood doping clinic, and another for not having enough members on the team) I *think a 5th favorite was out due to injury or retirement...which meant, at the start of the Tour, all 5 of the top 5 finishers from 2005 weren't competing this year. (that, I know for sure) So, the talking heads turned to trying to figure out who would win this year's Tour, with all of the favorites out.

America's best hope was George Hincapie, the only rider to race with US Postal/Team Discovery each year that Lance Armstrong won. Now that Lance was gone, it was now George's team, and the team would now labor to get George into the Yellow Jersey, instead of Lance. And Lance had won the previous 7 Tours by having an incredible team, with incredible support, and riders (like George) who were willing to sacrifice THEIR chances for the Yellow, so that Lance could get it.

Floyd Landis, on the other hand, would have been THE favorite to win...if he had stayed with Team Discovery (a couple of years ago, US Postal withdrew its sponsorship of the team, and The Discovery Channel stepped in..hence, the name change). But, Floyd clashed with Lance Armstrong repeatedly (actually...a very common occurence. There's a reason why only ONE rider stayed with Lance all 7 years), so, he left for other pastures...more specifically, to Team Phonak. Team Phonak seemed to offer everything Floyd needed in a team, except one thing...an actual competitive team. Phonak was good enough to qualify for the Tour, and was good enough to finish it. But, they weren't the best riders, and not even close to the quality of rider that Team Discovery had. So, Floyd was, at best, a long shot to win, if he could find a way to overcome the obstacle his team presented.

Now, most people don't realize that the Tour de fwance (and most Tours, for that matter) is actually a team event, not an individual event. You can't even sign up for the Tour with a 6 person team. No Lone Rangering allowed. So, Floyd was going to have to win the Tour in spite of his team, not because of it.

Early on in the Tour, George Hincapie had what can only be charitably described as "a melt down". He pooped out. He couldn't hold the Yellow Jersey. He got tired. As a result, he fell back in the standing several minutes, and there wasn't any real way he could make that time up. So, America's hopes really rested on Floyd Landis of the "other weak teams are calling them weak" Team Phonak.

For the first 10 or so stages, Floyd was in striking distance. He and his team were positioning themselves to be in striking distance of the Yellow Jersey at the end stages. Around Stage 12, Floyd got to put on the Yellow Jersey.

Stage 13, Phonak decided to gamble, and give up the Jersey to another rider. Why? To save strength. The Tour is almost a pure endurance event, not really a speed event. It's not about who goes the fastest (sprinters rarely win the Tour), but, more about who can go the fastest the longest. So, sometimes, a team will decide to NOT win a stage, so they can win later stages. That's what Phonak decided to do.

I'll take a quick moment here to describe how team-mates can be used...and abused...in the Tour. Since many time bonuses are available for how well the team does, sometimes, the leader of the team will have another team member go balls-out, to get the other teams to try and catch him. This is sacrificing one team member to get the rest of the team to win. The team member who goes balls-out on Monday won't be worth a shit on Tuesday. Too tired. But, in order to tire the other teams out, you sacrifice the one teammate to get the rest of the team ahead. Now, other teams know you're going to do that, so, they have to decide if they're going to let you get away with that. Usually, they don't, so, they'll sacrifice one of THEIR teammates to tire your teammate out. (Most people don't know that drafting actually SLOWS the lead person down, while speeding the trailing person UP) Now, you know they're going to do that, so, you send another teammate up to "protect" your first teammate, by switching with your sacrificed teammate on and off, to give him a rest. Confusing? Not really, once you start doing it. But, the Tour is a LOT more complicated than just who can ride the fastest. You should also start to see where having other good riders on your team is essential. If none of your teammates are a threat for a true breakaway, why would anyone bother trying to impede them?

So, for Stage 13, Phonak yeilded the Yellow Jersey up, with the plan of taking it back on a later stage, and holding on to it until the ride into Paris. Floyd got criticized for this, by other competitors, many of whom were his friends. You see, it's bad form to not protect the Yellow Jersey. It's a sign of disrespect FOR THE JERSEY to take it one day, and plan on giving it up the next. It's like winning the Super Bowl, and announcing you have no plans to even TRY to go to the playoffs the next year. You won it, you protect it. But, everyone understood what Floyd was doing, they just weren't sure they were going to help him do it. (other teams, out of contention, have been known to choose sides in races between the top 2 teams. Just like any other large mob of people)

Floyd took back the Yellow in Stage 14, and now, his plan was to hold onto it for the rest of the Tour.

There was one small problem, though. Stage 16. A mountain stage.

Floyd Landis had a meltdown. He tired out. He went from being almost 60 seconds ahead, to being 8 minutes, 8 seconds BEHIND. He went from 1st to 11th, in one stage. His hopes of the Yellow Jersey were, barring a miracle, gone. He needed AT LEAST five of the top 10 racers to crash, or drop out, or SOMETHING! He needed to gain time he couldn't gain, and he needed riders to drop out who had entire teams protecting them. 8 minutes with 5 stages to go was impossible. Couldn't be done. George Hincapie had his dreams of Yellow in Paris dashed when he fell 8 minutes behind with 10 stages left! It takes a miracle to gain 8 minutes over the ENTIRE Tour, much less with 3 stages and the Ride into Paris left. (The final stage is more of a formality than a race. You can't win the Tour on the Ride, but, you can lose it, if you crash. Which is why your team sticks to you like white on rice, to make sure no one crashes into you)

Floyd had other plans, though. Sometime during the night, in a strategy session, he and Team Phonak realized they had only one strategy: sheer, brute force. The only hope that Floyd had of regaining the Yellow Jersey was to do an all-out solo breakaway on Stage 17. No teammates to help, and only his body to do the work, the same body that had given out on him the Stage before. No help, no assistance, no tactics. Just. Ride. He had to go fast enough to discourage any other riders from trying to keep up with him, and he had to make sure he kept going. He wasn't going to have anyone to give him a rest by drafting, and he wasn't going to be able to look over his shoulder, because another rider might tell him the pack (the peleton in bicycle-speak) was just behind him, and he had failed.

So, the next morning, he woke up early, and rode the 65 mile course by himself, to get a feel for it. (that's normal. ALL the champions do it, or, so I've read from other cyclists) By the time he was finished with his run-through, the rumor was already floating around about his plans. Other competitors, many of them friends of his, tried to talk him out of it. You just CAN'T do that. It's not done! Sure, he may have been able to get back into striking distance of the Yellow, but, he was exhausted already from Stage 16, and he would still have 3 more stages to go! Solo breakaways don't work for winning the Tour. They just don't.

Floyd wouldn't listen, though. He told his freiends to drink a Coke, because he was going to breakaway from the pack as early as possilbe, and they were free to try and keep up with him, if they wanted to.

You don't run a 65 mile race ahead of the pack that late in the Tour. You just CAN'T! You're exhausted already, and you'll tire yourself out too much for the remaining stages to win.

You.
Don't.
Do.
It.

Floyd did, though. At the end of Stage 17, Floyd Landis was 30 seconds behind the leader. 7 minutes, and 30 some seconds gained. In one stage. After having one of the worst late-stage collapses in Tour history.

He.
Gained.
SEVEN!
Minutes.
In.
One.
Stage.

Oh, sure, Greg LeMond overcame just as big of a deficit during one of his victories, but, Greg used his team to do it. Greg used tactics, and strategy, and sacrificed a team-mate or two to do it.

Floyd did it "with the pedal". No tactics, no strategy. Just sheer, brute force, and pure heart.

Some of you may have heard that Floyd had a bad hip, or an arthritic hip. No, it was worse than that. He has avascular necrosis in his hip, a condition that caused the cartilage in his hip to detoriorate, because of lack of blood flow. It was caused by a training crash he had THREE YEARS AGO! His hip has been bone-on-bone for quite some time, now. WALKING is painful for him! SITTING is painful for him. And yet, on one day in fwance, he ignored the pain to launch one of the greatest comebacks in Tour history.

Stage 19, Floyd outsprinted the wearer of the Yellow, Oscar Pereiro, to take a 30 second lead for the Ride into Paris. When Floyd stepped off the podium with the Yellow Jersey, one of the first people to wrap him in a congratulatory hug was...Oscar Pereiro.

You see, Floyd was the rider EVERYONE wanted to win, if it wasn't themselves or a teammate. His competition was mostly comprised of his friends. I've been reading an online journal of one of the riders at the Tour (who was knocked out by a race-ending injury in Stage 7), and he said Floyd was the rider he wanted to win, if his team didn't, because Floyd was everyone's friend. The other racers were pulling for Floyd to pull it out. They WANTED him to win. They're HAPPY he won. The same cannot be said of the two previous American winners of the Tour, who were either hotheaded blowhards (Greg LeMond), or, calculating pricks (Lance Armstrong). Oh, the other riders respected Greg and Lance, they just didn't LIKE them. The other riders like and respect Floyd, and are just as happy as he is about his victory.

Stage 20, the Ride into Paris, Floyd and Team Phonak showed why Floyd is so well liked. Traditionally, the winner of the Tour and his team lead the peleton past the grandstands. Not this time. Team Phonak let Viatcheslav Ekimov, of Lance Armstrong's Team Discovery, lead the peleton, because this was his 15th Tour de fwance...one shy of the record. THAT is why Floyd is liked so much...he's human, and he is honest, and he is a friend.

I don't pay as much attention to bicycle racing as I would like to, and I'm sure most of you pay even less attention than that. But, frankly, this is one race I wish I had paid more attention to. I would like to be able to tell my children and grandchildren some day "I watched when Floyd Landis won the Tour de fwance. A ride like that will probably never be seen again." Sadly, I'll only be able to tell them I read about it, after the fact.

For more (accurate) information on this Tour, you can go here, or here, or here. Go ahead, poke around over there. This victory by Floyd was MUCH more than just another American victory at the Tour de fwance. It was a victory for the ages, by a man I can finally say I am happy he won.

If it's not one thing, it's another....

2006-07-09T18:09:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm mostly out of my funk. So, in theory, I'll be starting to write again, and soon.

The biggest problem, though, is that, now, I have too MUCH stuff to write about, and my poor little brain went into "reset" mode, when I thought about where to start.

So, once I get my brain a bit more organized, I'll start flinging some "wisdom" up here, for y'all to mock.

On Greatness

2006-06-17T02:02:00.000-07:00

As I sit here, listening to some music to try to pull myself out of this funk I'm in, I am struck by a sudden thought about "greatness".

Almost since time began, there have been arguments about what makes "greatness". Is it inborn? Is it a lifelong pursuit? Is it just luck? Or, is it a combination of all of those?

As I listen to my rather ecclectic collection of music, I have come to the conclusion that it is all four of those, plus, a healthy dose of "flash in the pan". I'm not trying to be vague, or, even wishy-washy. I'm just telling y'all what I have noticed about "greatness".

F'rinstance, Gordon Lightfoot's song, The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald is an absolutely great song. Argue with me on that. I dare you. Please. Pretty please? No? Fine. We're in agreement. It's a great song. Now, what is amazing about it is that it isn't even his best song. BUT, it is his greatest. It was written and produced at the right time, in the right way, by the right person. A person whose body of work increased the likelihood that he would create a song of the caliber of The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. So, Gordon wrote and sang a great song with a combination of lifelong pursuit, luck, and a bit of timing.

Another example is American Pie, by Don McLean. Quick, name me two other songs he's written or performed. Go ahead. I'll give you some time to even Google it. But, when you come back with three or four other song titles that he's written or performed, you and I will both know that you had to hunt them down, which is kind of my point. American Pie is a great song. It's one of the greatest "rock" songs ever written (I disagree with just about every modern music writer about whether Thunder Road, by Bruce Springsteen, really is the greatest rock song ever done). Now, Don wrote and performed a great song. BUT, he's done nothing before or since. Not one thing that would have ever led one to believe he could even produce a song at half the quality of American Pie. So, Don became great by "right place, right time", and a bit of luck, and not much more.

Jim Croce, on the other hand, wrote many great songs, in only a few years. If he hadn't died, tragically, too early, he would probably written at least five more songs that would still be ear-worms for people who currently don't even know who he is. So, Jim became great through a total body of work, without much luck.

What's the point of this rambling? I'm not really sure. But, I think it has something to do with one common feature of all three writers. They were all willing to take the chance to fail, in order to be in the position to be great. Their greatness is, frankly, the result of them all willing to fail. Greatness is sometimes acheived, sometimes thrust upon someone, and sometimes, just lands on someone lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. But, what I have noticed is that, overwhelmingly, the great people in history spent unbelievable time and effort getting to where greatness could be thrust upon them.

I'll spare y'all the historical examples of this that I can think of, just off the top of my head. I've rambled enough as it is.

Happy Homecoming Anniversary

2006-06-03T17:28:00.000-07:00

Wow.

Hard to believe it's been exactly one year since I escaped the Frozen Tundra of Wisconsin.

While I'm still hurting from some personal issues, the reasons I moved to Texas are still valid. I pay NO state income taxes, less in taxes overall, and the weather down here is...awesome. I tell ya, if the weather doesn't change from partly cloudy and warm soon, I'm outta here...in about 60 years. Seriously. In the past 365 days or so, I *think* about 30 of them have been something other than partly cloudy and warm. I only check the weather report to see if it's going to rain or not. The weather is that predictable.

In addition, the people of Texas are even nicer after a year than they were during my two pre-Cheesehead Invasion visits. I've had quite a few people actual WELCOME me to Texas, once they found out I wasn't from here. Waitresses smile and talk to you, people behind the counter in stores expect you to chat with them, and most people go through their day with smiles on their faces. Yeah, there are the jerks, but, they are more noticeable due to how much they stand out from the rest of the crowd.

Traffic is what you'd expect from a metropolis of around 1.5 million people, but, by and large, the drivers are MUCH smarter and nicer than the morons on the road in my previous hometown. This is going to sound racist, but...except for the Mexicans. When you see someone driving down the middle of the road like they're the only vehicle on the road, or driving with the centerline right down the middle of the car, or driving 30 MPH BELOW the speed limit in the middle lane of the Interstate (I only care about the right and middle lanes. When I'm in my work truck, I can't use the left lane. A law I actually like...), or slowing down to (seriously. no joke) 1 MPH to make a right OR left hand turn, or to go over a speed bump, I immediately start looking for the Mexican flag on the vehicle, which I always find.

Speaking of Mexicans, due to Austinistan's idiotic "immigrant" policies, illegal immigrants are as common as dirt down here. Where I work, there are about 36 or so of us, and 20 of us are Mexicans...and at least 10 of them are illegal. Because of that, manual labor jobs (frankly, the only jobs I am qualified for, and, truthfully, the only ones I enjoy) have artificially depressed wages. I have found out recently that I am one of the 5 or 6 highest paid people at my job, and I make about 2/3rds of what I did, doing the same job in Wisconsin. The "white collar" jobs down here pay unbelievably well. I know of an overglorified electrician who makes over $70,000 a year, and he isn't even that good at his job. But, because my overall tax burden is MUCH lower than in Wisconsin (no state income tax, and 8.25% sales tax, versus 8% state income tax and 5.5% sales tax...and, while I don't have enough knowledge of the property taxes to say anything for certain, home prices are unbelievably lower down here than in Wisconsin, which means, even if the mil rate is higher, the actual taxes are lower for property down here), I have just only slightly less discretionary income than I did at my MUCH higher paying job in Wisconsin.

At some time in the future (not any time soon), I may move from the Austin area, but...for now, I'm here until I have a reason not to be. Now, all I have to do is figure out how to get all my friends from Wisconsin to move down here, so I can have almost everything I want...

Making the de facto official

2006-05-06T09:02:00.000-07:00

My soul and spirit just got crushed. Near utterly. It had been building up for the past year, and, today, the final push was completed.

And, now, I have to come clean a bit. The REAL reason I haven't been posting a lot is simply because I had nothing left. Just to survive the past year, I've had to shut down one emotion after another. It's really hard to do something that requires emotion and passion when you don't have any left. Today, I turned off that last switch: the one that controls the ability to feel anything at all.

At some point, I may be able to get my ability to feel back. I don't know. Every time I have to rebuild, it gets harder.

So, for now, I'm taking a hiatus. I don't know for how long, or if I'll ever start up again. This page will still be up, because, frankly, I use it to go to my daily reads. I'll still visit a lot of y'all's sites, but, I probably won't comment.

(For those of you who think you know what I'm talking about: You're right.)

On Meaningless Arbitrary Numbers

2006-04-22T16:51:00.000-07:00

Just passed an arbitrary number in my quest to get debt free.

Sometime in the past two weeks, I dropped above -$10,000 in net worth. Considering that I was below -$21,000 in September, I'd say I'm making some progress.

Next month, I should be able to drop above -$10,000 in total debt.

Hey, they're completely arbitrary numbers, and they probably only mean something to me. But, it's progress. I'll take progress.

Even if I'm still only halfway there.

I hate getting tagged...

2006-04-05T13:37:00.000-07:00

Okay, I didn't really get tagged, but, close enough. Beth, over at Yeah, Right, Whatever, got a stupid "Four Things About Me" questionaire, and quasi-tagged me with it. So, here goes.

Four Jobs I've Had In My Life: (Only four?! Wow. Hard to pick which four to list...)

Garbage man
Vacuum salesman
Telemarketer
Advertising saleman (like Herb Tarlec, only better dressed)

Movies I Could Watch Over And Over Again: (and have)

Aliens
Jaws
Saving Private Ryan
Lord of the Rings trilogy

Four Places I Have Lived:

Madison, WI
Panama
Roswell, GA
Round Rock, TX

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch: (hard for me to do, since I don't even own a TV, but, I'll list the ones I used to like watching)

CSI
Hogan's Heroes
MASH
Hawaii Five-O

Four Places I Have Been On Vacation:

Wisconsin Dells, WI
Mt Mitchell, TN
Destin, FL
Dallas, TX

Four Websites I Visit Daily:

Four Of My Favorite Foods:

Spaghetti
Hamburgers
General Tso's Chicken
Ham sandwiches

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now: (you should be able to notice a pattern...)

Talking with friends
Having dinner with friends
Watching a game with friends
Playing a game with friends

Four People I'm Tagging With This: (yet again, a pattern should be noticed...)

Harvey of Bad Example
Harvey that I used to work with
Harvey that I used to drink beer with
Harvey that I used to drink scotch and smoke good cigars with

Some people will use any excuse.....

2006-03-04T20:15:00.000-08:00

...to not blog.

It seems that Delftsman, over at Emigre With A Digital Cluebat, has come up with a better excuse than mine for not blogging.

His lame-ass excuse is "congestive heart failure", "cancer tests", "pnuemonia", and "cardiac intensive care unit".

Send some prayers Upstairs for him, his wife, and their daughter.

And then, go over there and leave a "get well" comment.

Memo to Ted Thompson

2006-02-26T07:15:00.000-08:00

Ted,

If you are looking to find the quarterback of the future for the Green Bay Packers (and if you aren't, why not!?), take a look at this guy.

Sure, he played for a Division III school.

So did Steve McNair, and Jerry Rice.

I'd like to point out that this kid broke all of Steve McNair's Division III records, and set one for ALL of college football.

Give him a workout, and then, if he's half as good as his gaudy numbers show, SIGN HIM! Draft him, before another team willing to look at him does.

signed,

Your faithful fan,

The Humble Devildog

I don't get it....

2006-02-21T20:32:00.000-08:00

Can someone please explain to me why so many self-proclaimed intelligent people argue from ignorance?

Recently, I have had to deal with four people fairly close to me who first proclaimed their ignorance of a subject which I knew a little about, and THEN, told me I was wrong on that subject...immediately after telling me how little they knew about it!

I'm not even going to count the multitude of liberals I deal with on blogs, because that's just pushing the issue into the absurd.

People, people, people...if you EVER claim ignorance on the subject being conversed over, SHUT UP AND LISTEN to the people who are NOT ignorant. I learned an amazing amount over the years, just by doing that. Of course, asking questions is okay, but, do NOT tell them how wrong they are, or ignore what they are saying, just because you don't like it. YOU. JUST. ADMITTED. YOU. KNOW. NOTHING. ABOUT. IT. Shut. Up.

Peek down in the comments of my last post for an example of this. (Sorry, Harv. Still luv ya, and all, but...not knowing the basic rules of logic, but basing your atheism on them?! C'mon. Have some intellectual honesty.)

Gonna piss off a few friends with this one....

2006-02-11T20:09:00.000-08:00

Okay, so, I'm crawling around my kidnapped blog-son's site, and I slink through the comments on his post about the Italian atheist's fraud case being booted out of court by the judge. In the comments, Harvey said the Italian gave atheists a bad name.

Sorry, Harv. He didn't give atheists a bad name. Atheists' belief in the absurd gave them a bad name. In order to remain an atheist, one must:

1) Throw out the rules of logic.
2) Ignore any and all scientific evidence.
3) Deny the existence of ANY moral absolutes, such as "right" or "wrong", even those absolutes which they agree with.
4) Deny the existence of anything even remotely resembling "truth", even in their personal lives.
5) Consider themelves to be the apex of evolved life, all evidence to the contrary.
6) Be omniscient, omniopresent, and omnipotent.

In effect, in order for an atheist to remain an atheist, or even an agnostic, (I'm not going to futz around with the stupid semantics on this one) they have to elevate THEMSELVES to the god-status they have just spent their entire arguement denying the existence of. So, an atheist will ALWAYS argue that they don't exist. They can NOT exist, by their own very arguements.

So, please, feel free to do whatever you want to an atheist, because they don't exist in their own minds, so, you can't be punished, EVEN BY THEM, for anything you do to them.

That's only barely a joke. It's the logical extension of their arguements, taken to an absurd extreme. But, not THAT extreme. Atheism was the driving belief behind Communism, Fascism, and National Socialism. If those three movements considered atheism a good thing, shouldn't you think long and hard about it? Personally, once I found out Adolf Hitler breathed, I seriously considered not breathing any more.

Once you've rationally come to grips with the FACT that there is a god, THEN, we can argue about who that god is. Until then, you are irrational, illogical, and absurd. Sorry.

Three people probably care about this post....

2006-02-11T19:41:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's been a while since I gave the updates to the three people who haven't heard them from me, personally.

Here goes.

The hand is still numb, but, I have a little more muscle control than I did before the surgery. Sometimes, for an hour or two, I even have full feeling in my hand. Other than that, not much has changed.

Although, I do have to say, the surgeon is just TRYING to get punched in the head. Once again, he sprung another "Oh, I guess I should have mentioned..." on me. It seems that it will take until September before I can even START rehabilitating my hand, due to some little tidbits of information he "forgot" to impart to me. Like, it takes one month per inch of difference between the injury (in this case, my elbow) and the felt effect (my hand) for "full" recovery. After the nerve has healed, THEN I get to try and rebuild my hand. One of these days, he's going to find out my right hand still works just fine, as it smashes into his nose. TELL ME THESE THINGS UP-FRONT! Don't spring them on me, just as I'm feeling optimistic. Jerk. Still a great surgeon, though. Good work, and his post-op crew are fantastic. That's the best looking scar I have, and, when it fades, it may be one of the least visible. So, if you are in Austin, and looking for some orthopedic surgery to be done, I have the name of a good surgeon. He might have a broken nose by that time, though.

On the payment front, I have much better news. Last week, I mailed off about $900 in checks, to pay of the second AND the third lowest medical bills. The first lowest bill got paid off about the same time I got the bill, because it was for $17. THAT'S a bill I didn't mind paying right away. The second and the third bills, though, were $650 and $1500, respectively. Paid off. Now, on to the $1900 bill (which has had some payments made on it) and the $5200 bill (which also has some payments made). After those, pay off my loans, and I'll be 100% debt free, 1 1/2 years after I started incurring ridiculous medical bills. For those of you keeping score at home, that will mean I will have paid off approximately $19,000, in 18 months, on a $37,000 gross salary. That includes my second job.

Please, tell me again why you can't get out of debt on your salary? I'm doing it on less than the national average salary (for households, not personal), and I'm sending almost half of my income to debts. Please don't try and tell me that debt is just a fact of life these days. That's an excuse, and a shitty one at that. The odds are, you make more than me. BUT, the odds are, you have more "toys" than I do. What I am typing on is the second most valuable "toy" I have, next to my car, and I'd be selling my car, if it wasn't in such bad shape. Look at what you really NEED, and cut out MUCH (not most, not all, maybe not even half) of the non-needs in your life, and you'll get out of debt in a very short amount of time. Trust me. You don't NEED a $25,000 new car, and you most certainly do not NEED a television with cable. Once you admit that you only WANT them, the decision to cut them or not to cut them from your life is a lot easier.

I don't have a television OR a cell-phone. Easy decision, once I looked at whether or not I really needed them.

I hate allergies

2006-02-11T19:32:00.000-08:00

Okay, one more excuse...

Due to the wonderfully warm weather (for a transplanted CheeseHead...) we've been having, I have had the chance to find out that ragweed is NOT the only common ditchweed I'm allergic to. I'm also allergic to Mountain Cedar, or Juniper Ash, or Ash Juniper, or whatever the heck they call those stupid things. From what I gather, quite a few years ago, some idiot imported bonsai trees to Austin, TX, never considering the environmental impact. Just like kudzu and Japanese Beetles in the US, and rabbits in Australia, later generations have now discovered that those organisisms weren't native to the area, because those organisms have no natural enemies in the area. So, that means those cute little bonsai trees you've always wanted to own grow to quite large sizes, when they are planted in your garden and there are not predators for that tree.

So, in the middle of "winter", I get to have constant allergy attacks. Yay for me.

I guess I shouldn't complain too much, though. I don't have "Cedar Fever" nearly as bad as some other people I know, and I'd rather have "Cedar Fever" than "Hay Fever". Plus, a little sniffling and run-down feeling is a small price to pay to live in an area where the locals think 40 degrees ABOVE zero is too cold to leave the house without a parka. Seriously. Parkas. In 40 degrees. Hats, gloves and scarves, too.

I have directions to the escape hatch from Wisconsin, if any one needs them.

Can you fight for custody of a blog-son?

2006-02-02T16:58:00.000-08:00

I now have a blog-son.

Sort of.

Deathknyte has taken the plunge, and started blogging. The problem is, he has multiple blog-parents. Three of us were there when his blog was birthed, yet, ONE of us has decided to just take custody of our charming baby blog-boy from us.

So, who do I contact about making this a dirty, knock-down, drag-out custody battle?

I WANT MY BLOG-SON BACK!

Anyway, he's a master Fisker, and he knows that "brevity is the soul of wit". He's also not quite as nice as I am to idiots. Which is why I like him.

Conundrums and questions

2006-01-26T20:14:00.000-08:00

Okay, so, I'm thinking about changing my car insurance provider, and I started doing some shopping around.

Anyone out there have a good reason why the high risk insurance provider I currently have has rates that are HALF of what the low risk providers are offering? I was "high risk" because I kinda didn't carry auto insurance for quite a bit of time, and that made me high risk.

No tickets in the past 3 years, at least, and the only accident I've been in, in the past three years, wasn't my fault, and I couldn't do anything to avoid it, other than not be there.

One insurance company, with a stupid reptile as its mascot, won't insure me, because I had the bad luck of being present when a stupid Longhorn student ran into the back of my work truck, and another insurance company, named after a wimpy alternative title for "liberal", wants me to "save" money with them, by paying TWICE what I currently pay, for the exact same coverage. Those are the only two providers I've gotten quotes from, but, they are both providers that supposedly cater to "low risk" drivers.

From what I've seen, so far, I'm better off staying with the high risk provider, and remaining a low risk driver.

Any thoughts? Please?

Finally got something out of my brain.

2006-01-22T12:55:00.000-08:00

After running around southern Wisconsin last weekend, and working this week on a bit of sleep-debt, and THEN, going to a Blog-Meet THIS weekend, I finally had some time and energy to write a decent post.

Sorry, I didn't put it here. I put it over at Serenity Through Hope Ministries. I might be able to put a decent post up here later today, but, I wouldn't bet on it. I have to go shopping, and then, I have to go to work.

Excuse time is almost up.

2006-01-12T20:28:00.000-08:00

I'm almost out of excuses for light posting.

The mountains of trash are finally starting to dissapate, THREE WEEKS after Christmas, and my days are getting to a more manageable 10 to 14 hours, instead of the 16 plus they were running.

So, after I go to Wisconsin for the weekend, to spend some time with friends and family for a belated Christmas, I'll be able to post a little more often than once a decade.

Feel sorry for me. It's going to be in the 40s in Wisconsin this weekend. I'm delicate. I can't handle that kind of bone-chilling weather anymore.

*runs and hides*

The.Best.Blonde.Joke.Ever.

2006-01-08T19:20:00.000-08:00

Delftsman has the best blonde joke, ever, in the history of the world.

Go. Read it. You won't be sorry.

By now, I should be used to being right all the time....

2006-01-08T10:17:00.000-08:00

For those of you who don't think I actually know as much about how people think as I say I do, I give you this.

Remember, I don't even know the guy, nor have I ever met him, nor is it likely I ever will.

I just know how people think.

Please, Steve? Pretty please?

On Mixed Football Blessings

2006-01-02T17:38:00.000-08:00

Sorry I haven't posted too much recently. My work days have been long and exhausting, because I've been picking up mountains (almost literally) of trash. Almost every day has been 50-100% more trash than normal, because of Christmas and New Year's Eve. Good grief, y'all are disgusting slobs around the holidays....

Anyway, on to the mixed football blessings.

Today, I had two football events that both elated me, and depressed me.

The first one is that my Beloved Bucky Badger of the University of Wisconsin won its bowl game today, against the Auburn Tigers. I hadn't given Bucky much chance of winning, because Coach Barry Alvarez hasn't had much success (like....none) against teams from the South Eastern Conference, and Auburn had a MUCH better team than Bucky had faced in previous bowls. (Actually, Bucky had faced only one SEC team previously, three different times: the hated Georgia Bulldogs.) The win elated me, since I had resigned myself to Bucky getting blown off the field by yet another SEC team.

The win depressed me, though, because it was Coach Barry Alvarez's last game as head coach of the University of Wisconsin Badgers. He is stepping down as coach to devote his attention to being the athletic director for the UW, full time. While I am glad for his promotion (not really a promotion. He's been the AD for the past year.), I am saddened because Coach Alvarez made it possible for me to be a proud Badger fan. He took over a team that was one of the whipping boys of the Big Ten Conference, and turned Bucky into THE team you had to beat to win the Big Ten. Not a bad legacy to leave. Good luck, Barry. You'll be missed on the sidelines.

My other giddy-happy moment was when I found out that "coach" Mike Sherman, of my (almost as) Beloved (as the Badgers) Green Bay Packers was given the freedom to search for employment elsewhere in the NFL. That's right. "Coach" Sherman got fired today. HOORAY!

I'm saddened about this ONLY because it means the Indestructible #4, Brett Favre, will probably retire now. Brett has been quite vocal about his unwillingness to learn yet ANOTHER offensive scheme this late in his career, so, he's probably going to call it quits in about a month. Farewell, Brett. Now is as good of a time as any to leave. Leave while it's a choice, not a neccessity. Thank you for the years of making it possible to be a Packer fan again.

Of course, Brett just MIGHT want to hold off on that retirement for a month or so....it seems his old quarterback coach, Steve Mariucci, is looking for work right now....

Hey, a guy can dream, can't he?

Just some thoughts on Christmas.

2005-12-25T14:12:00.000-08:00

Pastor Rick has Serenity Through Hope Ministries back up and running.

I'm also back as a contributor.

My first contribution was a short message on something to think about this Christmas.

While you are there, takes some time to congratulate Pastor Rick on getting his Masters of Divinity. It's been a long, tough road for him, and he gained his degree while undergoing some serious adversity.

I'll leave it up to him to decide if he wants to share those adversities. The ones I do know about make mine seem insignificant. Pray for him, please.

Woe is me....

2005-12-24T10:18:00.000-08:00

The temperature on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day here is going to be 50 degrees.

In the middle of the night.

The daytime temperatures will be in the high 60s or low 70s.

I really am trying not to gloat about that. Really.

I'm not doing so well on that.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

How to fool your garbage man

2005-12-17T10:09:00.000-08:00

Okay, I promised this a couple of weeks ago, but, various work situations kind of prevented it. When a person has two jobs, the opportunities for work-related complications doesn't double, it seems to quadruple. But, anyway, better late than never, right?

Right about the week before Thanksgiving, and running through the middle of January, a garbage man's job gets really tough. That's because people are suddenly remembering to get their house ready for friends and family before Thanksgiving, and cleaning up after the friends and family through the middle of January. The reason it doesn't end right after Christmas is because of our more mobile and divorce-on-demand society. Christmas time actually lasts until early January now, for a large percentage of the population. But, anyway, that's another topic altogether. I'm just here to tell you how to make your garbage man's life a little easier after all the Holy Day festivities.

Now, I'm going to preface this little screed with a quick caveat. Believe it or not, the rest of the nation doesn't have their garbage picked up the same way you do. So, this isn't a complete and comprehensive guide, but, more of a things to ponder guide. In the year or so I've been slingin' trash, I have seen about 15 different ways that communities have their trash picked up, and have actually seen two neighbors, 100 feet apart, have different rules on what was and was not acceptable for their trash.

The very first thing you must do to trick your garbage man into picking up your garbage is to CALL THE GOVERNING BODY! If you live in a village, call the village hall. If you live in a city, call the city hall. If you live in the county's jurisdiction, call the county. If you live in a deed-restricted sub-division, call the management company. Why do you do this? Easy. To find out what the rules are. Just because you used to live in an area with unlimited trash pickup and large item pick up, doesn't mean you do now. So, call and find out what the rules are. And then, FOLLOW THEM! You aren't an exception to the rules. Sorry. Just about every one of your neighbors thinks they are an exception to the rule also. If everyone thinks they are an exception to the rule, then, the rule isn't a rule. So, "just this once" isn't an acceptable rationale. If we make an exception for you, we have to make an exception for everyone.

The second thing that you should take into consideration is that picking up garbage is a combination of four factors: time, size, weight, and space. If your garbage man is to have any hope of getting to see HIS family that week, he needs to do things quickly. If he is to have any hope of doing things quickly, he's going to have to be able to pick things up easily. In order for him to pick it up easily, it's going to have to be a size that is easily controllable, by one, maybe two, people. Once it is in the truck, it is going to take up space. But, that's not something you have any control over. The first three, though, YOU have more control over than he does.

Believe it or not, you don't actually piss off your garbage men if you put something large out. Picking up large things is part of our job, whether we like it or not. Mattresses, desks, cabinets, shelves, doors....none of those are actually all that hard to put in the truck, IF the customer doesn't make it harder than it needs to be. Trust me, more often than not, if you try to "help" the garbage men by doing something to your large items, you make it harder to pick up, not easier. For instance, breaking up your desk into smaller pieces, to make it easier to pick up and/or move is a good thing. Breaking it up into 60 pieces, each no larger than 1 foot by 1 foot, on the other hand, is NOT a good thing. (I've seen that done MANY times, by the way.) I know you think you are helping him by making the pieces lighter, but, what you've really done is take something that would have taken 10 seconds to throw into the truck in two or three pieces, and made him take 2 or 3 minutes to pick up your shredded desk, itty-bitty piece by itty-bitty piece. It didn't help at all. It made us stand out there and clean up your yard. We pick up trash. "Yard clean-up" isn't in our job description. So, when some well-intentioned idiot does that, they get to clean up their yard, and we pick it up the next week.

So, how do you figure out if you are helping your garbage man, or hindering him with the large item? Easy. Look at it, and ask yourself "How long would this take one person to drag 10 feet, and lift 3 feet in the air?". Because that's what we are going to do with it. If it takes you 20 trips to drag it 10 feet, then, you are needlessly making your garbage man's job take longer. If it is too heavy and/or too big to drag 10 feet, then, cut it into halves, or thirds. Whatever it would take to make it able to be dragged 10 feet and lifted 3 feet in the air quickly, and relatively easily. (Most garbage men are stronger than average people. We aren't Superman, though.) If you do that, we'll pick up your large item, and not even have a hint of a nasty thought towards you. Seriously.

Now, I should also mention that many jurisdictions will not allow you to put out large items. (If you had called your governing body already, you would know if they do.) If the governing body is does not allow large items, don't shred the item to avoid paying for the removal cost. Just pay the darn removal cost, or take it to the landfill yourself. Because, believe it or not, you are STILL paying for the removal, you just don't get a direct bill for it. You pay it in your taxes, or water bill, or with garbage stickers. The cost of idiots putting out things they aren't supposed to put out is covered in that cost. NO ONE gets their trash picked up for free. NO ONE. Someone is paying for it, and your garbage man is probably the one who can least afford it. But, many people try to make their garbage man pay for it, instead of being a decent human being, and paying for it themselves. Don't be one of them. To give you an idea of how little your garbage man can afford to pick it up, the industry standard is to pay the garbage man $.15 to $.25 per HOUSE. So, you are asking your garbage man to pick up your large item, PLUS your normal trash, for less than the cost of a daily paper. (I get paid MUCH less than that to pick up trash). If your area doesn't have large item pick up, pay for it to be removed, or take it yourself. If you can't afford that, you can't afford the replacement item for your large item.

Another thing that will make his job easier is something many of us learned in 1st Grade....neatness counts. Put your trash in ONE location, and try (as best as possible) to put your trash out in a relatively neat pile. Don't put half your trash on one side of your driveway, and half on the other side. (We get paid to make ONE stop at each house. Our company is being paid for us to make ONE stop at each house. You are only paying the city for ONE stop at your house. Notice a pattern?) If it's a really large pile, don't make the pile extend 20 feet into your yard. Make it extend 20 feet along the curb. It's easier for us to throw the trash into the truck from the curb than it is from your front door.

Don't put loose trash on the pile. If you decide to throw away your soda bottle from breakfast, don't put it on top of your can, or near a bag. Put it IN the can, or IN a bag. ON the can, or ON the bag means it WILL fall off at some point during the day, and then, it becomes loose trash. Loose trash falls under "yard clean up", not "garbage pick up".

DO NOT pile bags on top of your cans. I don't give a rat's behind if your rules only allow X number of cans. That X number means trash IN the cans, not ON the cans. "In" and "on" are spelled differently, quite simply because they mean different things. If you can't understand the difference, contemplate going to a cemetary, and think about whether you want to see the caskets IN the ground, or ON the ground. In addition, piling your trash on top of the cans increases the likelihood that your garbage will injure us. It's really hard to pick up something with your legs when it is 3 or 4 feet off the ground. IN the can. Not ON the can.

Garbage bags are a wonderful invention. Use them. I don't care if you have a can or not. USE GARBAGE BAGS! If you pile all your loose trash into the can, when we turn the can upside down, all your papers, plastic bags, baby diapers, half-eaten food, and styrofoam packing peanuts will, more than likely, end up on the road, or down the road. (An enterprising young identity theif would be well advised to drive behind garbage trucks, and clean up all the loose papers that blow around the neighborhood after they dump the cans, because I see a lot of credit card applications blowing down the street after I dump a can full of loose papers. In a 10 mile an hour wind, that credit card application might land 40 feet from the truck in the time it takes for me to even put the can down. I'm not chasing after it.) We'll pick up what we can, but, we don't chase trash down the street, and we don't pick up rotting food. If you have EVER had a wind over 2 miles per hour at your house, use a garbage bag, even in a garbage can.

Cardboard boxes are the second worst garbage containment device you have ever contemplated. They rarely have handles, and, when they do, the handles are usually broken. In addition, cardboard goes from relatively strong, to almost useless, simply with the application of water. If it has EVER rained where you live, don't put trash in a cardboard box. If has NOT ever rained where you live, don't put trash in a cardboard box, because you probably water your lawn. Water from sprinklers soaks a cardboard box just as well as water from the sky.

Paper bags are THE worst garbage containment device ever made. They go from "not strong enough" to "COMPLETELY useless" with the application of water. See above for the rules on putting trash out in paper bags.

Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, compact your trash in your can or trashbag, IN ANY WAY! When you do that, you increase the weight of the can, or stretch the bag. If you increase the weight of the can, you raise the likelihood that we won't pick it up. (If the thought "Boy, I'm glad I don't have to pick this can up" enters your mind, trust me, it will enter ours, as well. WE don't have to look at the can for the next week, though. You do.) Trashbags, on the other hand, aren't nearly as strong as you think they are. They are designed to hold about 30 pounds of trash. If you stretch the bag, you drop that ability by A LOT! I've seen a bag rip open with only 10 lbs of trash in it, because the customer stretched the bag so badly. Also, if you have to drag the bag to the curb, you will, more than likely, have quite a bit of loose trash in the road, or on your lawn, after the trash is picked up. THICK garbage bags are about .7 mils in thickness. Dragging the bag along cement, or gravel, or blacktop, will shred the bottom of the bag. When we have to drag the bag to the truck (because you made the bag too heavy to lift), we'll complete the job YOU started, and the bottom will rip open, and trash will go flying everywhere. That now becomes "yard clean up", not "trash pick up". We'll pick up what we can, but, we aren't going to kill ourselves to do it.

Ashes from your grill, leaves, weeds, sawdust, grass, used cat litter...all of these things need to be put in garbage bags BEFORE they go in your garbage can. Our job is dirty enough without being showered by your fine particles that you thought would be just fine, loose, in the bottom of your can. They aren't. Your can is going to be turned upside down at some point, and then, we get to stand in a cloud of that crap for the next couple of minutes. Trust me on this: cat litter takes a LOOOOOOONGGGGG time to wash off of arms. It is a water absorbent clay. Trying to wash it off just makes it do its job: absorb water. Put that crap in a garbage bag. Or, wear it yourself for a day, and see how you like it.

Dirt is NOT trash. Sorry. Don't put dirt in your garbage. For one thing, it's really heavy. For another thing, it isn't trash. It's dirt. Scatter it across your lawn. It won't hurt the lawn at all. If you dig up your grass, you'll notice a black substance under your grass. That's "dirt". Putting it in your trash means it's just going to the landfill. Especially in states like Texas, New Mexico, or Arizona (which all have a dearth of usuable dirt), you are actually hurting your ecology by putting dirt in the trash. In a landfill, that dirt won't be usuable for a MINIMUM of 20 years. In your lawn, it's usable immediately. Dirt= not trash.

Take a look at your garbage cans. If, at any time in their life, they had handles, wheels, or a lid, and now, do not, replace or repair them. The handles are put there so we can pick up your cans. Rope isn't an acceptable subsitute. Rope cuts into our hands, even with gloves. The wheels are there to make it easier for BOTH of us to move the can, BUT, the can is also designed so the wheels help keep the can upright. If the wheels aren't there, the can doesn't remain upright...which means your loose trash spills all over your lawn or road. Leaning the can against something doesn't help. We don't inspect every can we come to. We won't see your engineering marvel when we come to the can. EVERY trash can made comes with a lid. There is a reason. Water weighs approximately 8 pounds per gallon. A lid keeps the water out. Remember, rain is water. Just 1 inch of rain in the morning will put 3 to 5 gallons of water in your can. That's 24 to 40 pounds of water in your can, that didn't need to be there. If you put 30 pounds of trash in your can, that makes your can weigh 70 pounds....which is a weight that might not get picked up.

If you can look at garbage in your can, at eye level, you have something that is too long in your can. When we turn the can upside down, after lifting it 3 feet in the air, we now have to pull the can up 3 feet, PLUS the height of the can, PLUS the height of anything you so brilliantly stuffed in the can. If you put a 6 foot long piece of lumber in your can (happens a lot), we have to pull the can 10 t0 11 feet into the air to get it out of the truck. There aren't a lot of people that tall in the world. And most of them don't pick up trash. They play in the NBA. Cut it into two pieces.

Your mailman does NOT pick up your trash. Putting your trash behind the mailbox doesn't make it easier for him to pick up your trash. It makes it harder for US to pick up your trash. It isn't easier for us to drag your trash around your mailbox, and then, to the truck. In fact, putting your trash anywhere NEAR your mailbox makes it more difficult for the both of us, because your mailman might get there before we do, and many mailmen won't deliver the mail if there is something in the way of the mailbox. (Some mailmen won't deliver the mail if they have to extend their arm more than 4 inches out of the vehicle...unfortunately for us, the union and the law are on their side. We don't like them.) If the mailman gets there after us, there is a possibility that he won't deliver the mail, because we may have accidentally put your cans back in front of the mailbox, or, in a way that makes it difficult for the mailman to approach the mailbox. We do our best not to, but, new garbagemen might not think about that, or, we might just lose track because of the volume of trash we pick up. So, if you can, put your trash on the other side of your driveway from your mailbox.

While your car is there temporarily, it isn't there temporarily when we get there. It is there. So, don't put your trash behind your car. We'll pick it up, but, if you've thrown your McDonald's bag on top of your trash, it will be there when you get home, or move your car. We aren't making a special trip AROUND your car just to clean up your yard for you. "Garbage pick up", not "yard clean up". In addition, to help out the commercial garbage men out there, NEVER, EVER, EVER park in front of a dumpster. Those "No Parking" signs are there for a reason, and, yes, they DO apply to you. The average commercial garbage man has to return to a stop, because of a parked car, about 10 times a day. That's 10 trips, out of his way, that he is NOT being paid for, just because you were too lazy to find a proper parking spot. The odds are, you WILL block the can, and it will NOT get picked up. Don't park there. THAT MEANS YOU! You are taking money out of someone's pocket because of your inconsiderate nature and laziness.

Now, for those of you who have automated trucks, where the garbage man just pulls a lever, and your can gets picked up, follow the rules on putting the garbage out. In Austin, where the city has those type of trucks, the garbage men will NOT pick up a can where the lid is not COMPLETELY closed. It's not because they are being picky. It's because they had to draw the line somewhere. If there is enough trash in the can that the lid can't be closed, there is a HIGH likelyhood that garbage will spill out when they dump the cans...which defeats the whole purpose of having automated can pick up. He'll have to get out of the truck, reload your can, and dump it again. He's only being paid to dump the can ONCE. The city is only charging you to dump the can ONCE. So, there's a reason they charge you extra to pick up cans where the lid isn't closed....because it costs them a LOT extra to pick it up.

Anyway, those guidelines, combined with the phone call you made (...you remember what phone call...right?!), should get you to be able to trick your garbage man into picking up your trash, no matter how how much you put out.

Now, after all that, I'm going to address something that I'm haven't been real comfortable addressing, because it seems so...self-serving. Tips and treats.

Many sins by customers have been absolved by the simple expedient of doing something nice for the garbage men. Sodas, cookies, candy, water...believe it or not, those all go a long way towards making your garbage man's day better. I have a customer who brings us out sodas about every other week, and that means we take the time to take her cans up to her garage for her. (she's elderly, and she has a steep driveway. In addition, she can't put her cans any closer than 15 feet from the curb, because of the driveway.) That's it. For the cost of two (generic) sodas, a couple of times a month, she doesn't have to pull her cans back to her house after we dump them. She also doesn't have to find a way to get her cans to within 10 feet of the curb (that's industry standard for how far we'll walk to get trash). For $2 a month...

Gifts of alcohol are a real touchy issue. Most garbage men will REALLY enjoy the gift, but, you might be making them break the law with that gift. It is NOT, in any way, shape, or form, legal to have ANY alcohol in a commercial vehicle, unless it is invoiced. That also covers alcohol fumes. (I know this from delivering liquor. I had to have an invoice for broken bottles, to explain the alchohol smell in the back of the truck.) So, while it is an appreciated gift, many garbagemen won't take it, simply because it could cause them to lose their license. If one of my helpers accepts a 6 pack of beer, and puts it on the rider step of the truck, and I get pulled over (don't even have to break a law for that to happen. Sometimes, state troopers do random inspections of commercial vehicles on the road), I get a DUI ticket, and lose my license in the time it takes for the officer to take it out of my hand...for a 6 pack of beer I won't drink, and might not even have known was on the vehicle. (I rarely drink alcohol, and NEVER keep any in the house. Too tempting.) So, if you are going to put out alcohol for your garbagemen, if you can, find a way to get it to them without it being on the truck, or, package it in a way that allows the driver to legitimately say they didn't know what was in the package. (I got a bottle of brandy that way last year. gave it away, but, it was in a sealed package that I opened at the shop.)

Also, many people tip their garbage men around Christmas time. We thank you for that. It is really appreciated, especially considering the extremely thankless nature of our job. Most people treat their mailman better than their garbageman, and we do about 6 times the work, for about half the pay. If you are going to tip your garbagemen, bear that in mind. Also, you might want to bear in mind that there might be two or three garbagemen on the truck, and your $5 tip, while truly appreciated, doesn't go as far among three people as it does with one. If you don't tip, I'm okay with that. Really. I feel uncomfortable accepting a gratuity for just doing my job. That doesn't mean I won't take it. It just means I'm not going to ask for one, expect one, or think less of you for not doing it. Besides, last year, I gave all my tips away to people who needed them more than I did. I might not do that this year. I haven't decided.

Tipping also doesn't hurt when you do your spring or fall cleaning. We WILL do a better job when we know the person knows how much more difficult they made our job with their pile of garbage, and is willing to express it.

I hope this will help you to make one of the most underappreciated jobs in the world more tolerable for those who do it. Yes, we'll pick up your trash, and yes, we have to do it. But, if you work with us, we won't be unhappy about cleaning up your mess. It's YOUR garbage, not ours. We just pick it up. We don't have to look at it for the next week. Remember that, before you think "They'll pick this up. They'll make an exception for me." We might. But, we might not.

Even a drugged out former child star gets it....

2005-12-11T08:38:00.000-08:00

Shamelessly lifted from The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler...

“All’s I know is, had Dean or Pelosi trotted out this same line of bullshit as an excuse to pull out of rehab, the judge would’ve slapped them with a parole violation—forcing them to unload smack from their private stashes and hock their Vespas just so they could afford to pay their shyster lawyers’ attorney fees.

“Trust me on this.”

Leif Garrett

Uh...yeah. He would know about that.

More of an update than an excuse, but....

2005-12-10T10:18:00.000-08:00

Okay, sorry about the really light posting again. I've got a decent reason for it, though.

I started working nights delivering pizzas. So, after I've worked my 8-10 hour day slingin' trash, I get to deliver pizzas for another 3-5 hours. Doesn't leave a lot of time for blogging. But, if tips keep up at this rate, I'll be out of debt in less than a year. Right now, I'll be out of debt in almost EXACTLY one year. But, that's not soon enough for me.

Oh, for those of you who are whining about not being able to get out of debt on your income? I make about $28,000 a year at my full time job, and about $14,000 a year at my part time job (haven't actually made that yet. that's an estimate....a LOW estimate), and I have about $18,000 in debt. Take out my taxes (~25%), and that leaves me with about $31,000 a year, to pay off $18,000. And I'm going to do it. Yes, a person CAN live on $13,000 a year, and moderately comfortably, as long as they are willing to redefine "comfort". So, please, spare me your whining about not being able to scrape by on $60,000, $70,000, or $80,000 a year. It just makes you a whiner. And, yes, I know that anklebiters cost money. Not nearly as much money as you say they do, though.

Anyway, enough whiner bashing. For those of you who care about the condition of my hand, it's better than it was. That's about all I can say about it. I have a little more feeling, and a little more muscle control, but, it's going to be a while before it approaches anything even remotely resembling "usable". Oh, well.

It took her all of 30 minutes to make a liar out of me....

2005-12-04T10:06:00.000-08:00

So, blog-daughter mom, Grandma Jo, has a post up about Christmas.

After my ranting and raving about how we don't agree on issues one bit, she has to go and put up a post about Christmas that I actually agree with.

Go. Read. I'll wait until you come back to put in my two cents.

Back? Good. Here's what I have to say on the subject.

Christmas isn't even really a Christian holiday. It's a pagan holiday with Christian trappings. (Thanks to the Roman Catholic Church, again.) But, over time, it has come to be considered a Christian holiday, so, for whatever it's worth, we now consider it one. So, in that vein, we may as well look at it from that perspective. And, from that perspective, whether or not a store decides to put "Merry Christmas" on its sales is wholly irrelevant. Sales aren't in the spirit of Christmas. Stores aren't in the spirit of Christmas. So, who cares?

But, both Grandma Jo and John Gibson, in their zeal, made the same mistake. They got carried away. John Gibson is absolutely correct when he says that the Liberal "mainstream" HAS declared a war on Christmas, but, store flyers and store fronts isn't the battlefield. And attacking John Gibson's position simply because he got that one particular point wrong also isn't the battlefield.

Where the battlefield is, is in the government sector. The ACLU has got most government agencies running so scared about the mythical "seperation of church and state" that most government agencies now take away their employee's rights to freedom of religious expression, all under the myth that a government employee gives up their First Amendment rights when they become a government employee. It is NOT a violation of the First Amendment to say "Merry Christmas", even for a government employee, and it is NOT a violation of the First Amendment to play Christian Christmas music in a government building, be it a school or an office building.

Think about that for a second. The ACLU is trying to argue that you can't play Christian music at a time of year where a Christian holiday is being celebrated. Huh?! There is a notable lack of Muslim music about Christmas, as well as secular and Jewish music. Ditto for the Hindus and Buddhists. So, you can't play ANY music about Christmas, AT ALL, since it was all written by Christians about a Christian holiday.

And how about this "politically correct" crap of saying "Happy Holidays!" instead of "Merry Christmas", lest we accidentally set up the Pope as the President of the United States by ONE MORE UTTERANCE of the term? Give me a break. "Happy Holiday" is NO better than "Merry Christmas"! "Holiday" is a linguistic drift version of two words...."Holy Day". Oops. There went that phrase. That's it! Now, the bishops are in charge!

And "Season's Greetings!". What a waste of breath. Since "Season's Greetings" is one of the preferred phrases to avoid "offending" those who aren't Christian, let me take this time to say that that phrase isn't any better. I am offended by it, simply because I see no reason to celebrate cold temperatures, snow, and ice. I HATE WINTER! So, cheerfully greeting me in the spirit of the season (winter) is, more than likely, going to get a reciprical greeting in the spirit of the season from me: a punch in the nose. THAT is how I want to greet winter. And people who are cheerful about winter are in danger of getting the same greeting.

At this point, though, I do have to point out that there is ONE thing stores can do that is actually in the spirit of Christmas, and a store can determine whether or not I patronize them with that one thing: Salvation Army bell ringers.

For the most part, the Salvation Army bell ringers are either volunteers, or, temporary labor hired to fill in the shifts that volunteers can't be found for. The Salvation Army is raising that money to give Christmas dinners and gifts to people who can't afford it, which is FAR more in line with the spirit of Christmas than what actually goes on inside the stores the bell ringers are in front of.

At this time, there is one major store that I STILL will not patronize, because of its stand on the bell ringers, and there is one store that I wish I could patronize, because of its stand on the bell ringers.

Target Stores, last year, "decided" to enforce a "no solicitation" policy in front of all of its stores. Now, this policy had been in effect for quite some time, and most stores have a similar policy. What made Target's decision different is that they decided that they were no longer going to make an "exception" for the Salvation Army, and banned the bell ringers AND the kettles from Target store fronts. Target also took an 11% hit on sales last year, possibly because of that idiotic decision. Well, this year, they have the same idiotic policy. So, no Target for me. It wasn't high on my list of places to shop, but, if they wanted to lure me in, prohibiting the Salvation Army bell ringers wasn't the way to do it.

St Paul, MN-based Cub Foods, on the other hand, decided to do something about Target's idiotic decision. As of this year, Cub Foods decided to allow TWICE the number of Salvation Army bell ringers in front of their stores, to make up for the bell ringers that St Paul, MN-based Target wasn't going to allow. Good on you, Cub. Too bad I moved away from your area this year. That type of policy would have made Cub Foods my preferred place to shop....and I was Woodmans kind of guy. (Cheeseheads know what that means.)

File under "What took you so long?!"

2005-12-03T19:38:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure I want to try to explain this, but....

Unlike a lot of other bloggers, I don't really know who my blog-parents are. There are a lot of people who suggested I get a blog of my own, but, I can't really say who it was who was the final straw. Nor can I actually remember who it was who actually suggested I get a blog, now that I think about it. So, I guess I am a blog-orphan.

And now, I'm a blog-orphan daddy. I now have my very firstest blog-daughter....who also happens to be my mother. I'm not really sure I want to even TRY to wrap my meager little brain around that concept, because, frankly, I think it would weird me out too much. But, anyway, my mother is now my blog-daughter. Hooray for me! I think.

Anyway, as most of you know, my mother and I don't see eye to eye on most issues. BUT, that doesn't mean that her opinions on the issues aren't well thought out, well intentioned, or even well argued. Actually, quite the contrary. I actually gained my ability to argue relatively coherently and passionately from her. Now, over the years, that has meant that we've refined our arguement skills against each other, and many times, kept our vocal chords in pretty good shape, as well. But, while I won't agree with her on most topics, and she won't agree with me on most topics, we both still do love each other, and, I think we also both have a fair amount of respect for the others perspective and skill. Sometimes grudging respect, but, still respect.

While I don't agree with her, and many of my loyal readers won't agree with her, she's still my mother, and I'm still a Marine at heart. You behave over there. If you think I can be quite nasty here, just wait to see how nasty I can get when you mess with my family. People who know me from the Rott might be amazed at how nasty I will get if they mess with my family. So, keep it civil, and keep it polite, and we'll all get along just fine over there.

Even if we don't agree.

Feel sorry for me.

2005-12-03T11:02:00.000-08:00

No, really. I want some sympathy, dang it.

Sorry I haven't been too verbose recently. Now that I can actually work at work, I've been trying to get back into working shape. Which means I'm usually exhausted at the end of my day, especially since it's now the holiday time, which means everybody and their uncle is putting out enormous piles of trash at the curb. The Monday after Thanksgiving, every one of our trucks was filled three times, and, if I hadn't had some help, my truck would have been filled four times. To give you an idea of how much trash that is, we all pick up about 1000 homes in a day. Our trucks will hold about 15 to 20 tons of trash on each load. I won't do the math for you, because, frankly, it depresses me. But, now, you get an idea of why I've been so tired.

Another reason to feel sorry for me is the excruciating unseasonable weather we are experiencing down here. Today, it's the 3rd of December, and it already 76 degrees out. At 1 pm. In December.

I'm trying really hard not to gloat about that. So far, I think I've done a pretty good job. I've only snickered at the people up north about five times a day. Which is much less than I really feel like doing.

Have I mentioned how much I hate cold weather?

Anyway, once I get a little more rested, I'm going to put up a post about how to trick your garbage man into picking up the ridiculous items that y'all seem to want to put out at the curb. It's a lot easier than you think, and it will make everyone happy. So, stay tuned. It will be instructive.

Harvey's not my friend anymore

2005-11-20T09:39:00.000-08:00

I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut.

It seems that Harvey, of Bad Example, is a meme magnet. I told him to keep his memes to himself, and he didn't listen. So, after I complete this stupid meme, I'm going to follow through on my threat, and mock him.

1. Do you use an alarm clock to wake up in the morning?

Yes. Actually, two alarm clocks.

2. What time do you set it for?

During a normal weekday, the first is set for 5 AM, and the second is set for 6 AM. If I have to unload my truck in the morning, then, the first is set for 4 AM, and the second is set for 5 AM.

On the weekends, the damn things are turned off.

3. Do you hit the snooze button? If so how many times?

Yes. As many times as it takes to get those God-awful alarm clocks to SHUT UP!

I usually only hit the snooze button on the second alarm clock twice. The first one, I hit the snooze button until the next alarm clock goes off.

4. Have you ever abused an alarm clock?

Not on purpose. But, I have found that an alarm clock only lasts for about two years in my household, because I wear the snooze button out.

I'm going to be nice, and not continue the meme any longer. Meme'ing ought to be a crime, and I won't contribute to more meme'ing.

Now, on to the mocking.

Does Harvey have a beard to:

A) hide his prison bitch face?
B) hide the stretch marks from his days in the Navy?
C) keep his face warm during Wisconsin winters?
D) keep his face warm during Wisconsin summers?
E) all of the above?

You want more mocking? Keep sending me memes. I HATE memes.

Time to wake up

2005-11-19T14:39:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's time for me to piss off a few friends. In the past couple of months, I've noticed that quite a few people get really touchy when you bring up a certain subject: schools. After quite a bit of prayer and thought, I've figured out why.

The overwhelming majority of parents, in the US today, are selfish fucking brats. Read that sentence one more time, and realize that I know exactly what I just said. Now, at this point, you must also realize that the odds are, I just described YOU. How do you know if I was talking about you? Real simple. You have a child in a school, public OR private. That's right. Putting your child in a school means you are a selfish fucking brat.

When I see people, of all political persuasions, complaining about the state of schools today, I can't help but wonder "Then why do you trust your child to them?". Liberals think schools don't spend enough money, and conservatives think schools are teaching the children to be idiots. The truth is, they're both right, and both wrong. The public schools, and private schools, since they are set up, for the most part, along public school organisation, ARE turning your children into idiots....just like they were supposed to do. AND, the schools don't have nearly enough money to do it properly. So, when the schools finally get enough money, they'll be able to churn out properly indoctrinated idiots, just like they were designed to do.

Don't believe me? Just take a look at the Ninth Circuit Court's most recent publicallly idiotic ruling. In case you missed it, the Ninth Circus ruled that you, as a parent, have NO rights to determine what is or isn't taught to your child, and have NO rights to know what your child is even being taught! So, when your third grade child is given a checklist of sexual activities to try (as was the case in the Ninth Circus ruling), you, as a parent, have no say in it, and don't even have the right to complain about it. Now, as revolting as that may be, to me, I hate to say it, but, the Ninth Circus is right. You don't have any rights to determine what your child is taught in a public school, nor do you have the right to complain about what is taught in those public schools. Why?

Because you sent your child there. YOU did. The gubmint didn't come and take your child by gunpoint to the school. (although, that's in the works...) YOU delegated YOUR parental responsibility, to instruct your child, to another. After you did that, you lost your right to bitch and moan about what that other taught them. All because you can't give up your toys.

That's right. Your toys. Your fucking toys are more important to you than your child. And I can prove it, very easily.

Would you give up your car to save your child? No, you wouldn't. How do I know this? Because YOU.HAVEN'T. Almost every person I have talked to about this says they can't afford to have one parent stay home and teach the children. The facts, though, are quite different.

The average car payment, in the US, is approximately $385 a month. The average American pays $100 a month in interest on consumer debt. That's almost $500 a month you could be saving by not buying your toys. Read those numbers again. Those are just the AVERAGES! If you, as a parent, just eliminated just your car payment and consumer debt, you'd have an additionaly $500 a month to keep your child at home. Add into that the daycare that a lot of you are paying for, so both of you can scurry around at work, pretending you are doing the best for your child, and that's almost another $400 a month saved (that number is off the top of my head....I have a feeling daycare is much more expensive than that). Add those numbers up, and do them for the year, and that's almost $11,000 a year, just to not be home with your children.

That number is even more shocking when you compare it to the average household (NOT individual...household...) income in the US: ~$45,000 per year. That means ONE QUARTER of the average American's income is going to pay for the parents to be out of the home! ONE QUARTER! Add into that the odds that the you own a house that is WAY out of your price range, and it gets even worse. Off the top of my head, without researching it at all, I'd be willing to bet that most of you have a house payment that is close to 40% of your take home pay. Now, we're up to 65% of your income, sucked up by a too expensive house, a too expensive car (or multiple cars) and way too much consumer debt.

I'm not even going to get into how horrid the numbers get, when you add in all the added expenses of having both parents out of the home. I'll just list some of them, and you tell me how much worse it gets. Extra fuel for vehicles, eating out more often, extra insurance on a second vehicle, a second vehicle....

Now, after looking at all those numbers, exactly WHY is it worth it to have both parents out of the home? Hm? I'm waiting....

Now, the reason for all of this number crunching is to show you that you CAN afford to have one parent at home. And if one parent is at home, one parent can be teaching the children while at home.

I've heard one person tell me that they don't know enough to teach their children. Like that's a problem?! Trust me. I know quite a few teachers, and you know just about as much about the subject as they do. They aren't teachers because they are successful in their field of study. They're teachers because they supposedly know how to teach. Think about THAT one.

In addition to that, there is a veritable smorgasborg of home schooling curriculum out there. One of them WILL match what you want to teach your child, and it will be within the amount of money you want to spend. I garauntee it. Sam's Club and Wal-Mart have homeschool curriculum, for goodness' sake! WALMART AND SAMS CLUB! Home schooling curriculum are available in stores! So, there goes that idiotic arguement against homeschooling.

Face it, the ONLY reason you don't want to teach your own children what you think they need to know is that you like your toys. It's a child, damn it. It's a life style change, not an accessory. Given the choice between a nice car, and my child's life (and education WILL affect their life in the future), it's a no brainer to me. I'll walk to work, if I have to.

Too bad most of you can't say the same thing. Sorry.

On my other favorite holiday

2005-11-11T18:23:00.000-08:00

Today is Veteran's Day.

You've heard all the stuff about when it started, and why, and why you should care. So, I'm not going to take up your time by just doing an information overload on it.

What I am going to do, though, is allow an unintended guest blogger to have their say about today.

My mother and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. Actually, we NEVER see eye to eye, since I'm four inches taller than her, but, that's beside the point. Politically, we couldn't be more opposite of each other if we tried. Well, we could. We're both about the polar opposite of my father, who is aggressively apathetic and cynical. But, if you want to know where I get what little writing ability I have, and my opinionated nature, I'll let you read what my mother sent me, for Veteran's Day.

War is dirty and war is hell. I’ve never been to war, but I don’t know anyone who would disagree with this. However, just about everything else about war is a topic of major contention. Some wars are justified, some are not, though some believe all war is unjustified. Some wars are well planned and executed and others are not. I have opinions on those topics, but I’m not going to share them here.

What I am going to talk about is soldiers (and sailors and airmen and marines). I was born while my father served in Korea, I saw my young husband off to Vietnam, and I saw my young son—who was born during the Vietnam war—off to the first Gulf War. I was a military wife overseas for nearly four years. I have three grandsons and I hope never to see them off to war. None of this makes me qualified to speak for any soldier. But I wish to speak of them and my beliefs about them.

The Constitution gives Congress the power to declare war. Sometimes presidents declare wars anyway and there is a lot of debate about whether that is legal. I don’t even have an opinion on that topic because it’s too confusing. However, what I do know, without a shadow of doubt, is that soldiers do not declare war. They just fight them. They kill in them, they die in them, they suffer and inflict horrible injuries in them. Some soldiers perform extraordinarily heroic deeds, others perform very cowardly deeds (though it is not for me to declare anyone a coward in a situation in which I am not sure I would perform honorably). The vast majority of soldiers serve honorably in situations in which maintaining honor can be quite difficult.

Sometimes it seems that in the military it really is true that Situation Normal [means] All “Fouled” Up. Soldiers may be sent to battle with not enough equipment, the wrong equipment, or equipment that doesn’t work. Somehow they manage to do the job anyway. They are sent into situations that seem insane (does it seem sane to you to get sent out to be shot at?). But they are ordered to go, they are trained to do the job, and they do it.

Soldiers are in an extraordinary position. They are sent to fight for our Constitution and freedom and way of life, but the military is neither a democracy nor a republic. It couldn’t work if it were. So soldiers don’t get to pick their wars. They don’t get to decide if the war they are sent to is justified or not. They don’t get to quit their jobs. They do as they are ordered by the government we elected. They are required to obey every “lawful” order, but whatever decision they make about whether any order is lawful (sometimes while getting shot at) is second-guessed after the fact.

We read about soldiers who have acted dishonorably and who have committed atrocities. That shouldn’t surprise us. Soldiers are human. We send them into situations so inhuman we can’t even begin to comprehend it unless we have been there. Soldiers who commit atrocities must be held accountable—as must their leaders—but I believe it is a triumph of human spirit that, in the midst of war, the majority of soldiers refuse to turn into monsters and even manage in a war zone to coach sports teams for kids and “adopt” schools and orphanages.

Soldiers can be extraordinarily tough and extraordinarily tender. They can cuss like, well, soldiers, they can and do fight like tigers, and they can cry like babies when they see what war has done to themselves and others.

Soldiers do their duty no matter what the cost. They will die for their fellow soldiers. They will die for their country, whether their country appreciates it or not.

This may be an essay better suited to Veteran’s Day than Memorial Day. But for any living veteran or active duty soldier, it may be only luck that his or her day is not this day.

Not what I would have said, nor the way I would have said it. But, that doesn't mean it wasn't said correctly.

Thanks, Mom. Sometimes, it is still nice to actually see that others understand what we did.

On birthdays

2005-11-10T12:50:00.000-08:00

Today is one of the most important days for me. Of all the holidays and reasons to celebrate out there, this is about the third or fourth most important to me. Tomorrow is right behind it.

Don't know what today is? You should.

Today is the 230th birthday of the United States Marine Corps. Formed by an act of the Continental Congress on November the 10th, 1775, recruiting for the Continental Marines started at Tun Tavern, in Phildelphia, Pennsylvania. Many of the initial recruits were former Royal Marines...the only Marine Corps older than Uncle Sam's Misguided Children.

If you are keeping score at home, you will note that the Marine Corps was formed almost 9 months before the Declaration of Independence was signed, making U Suckers Miss Christmas one of two branches of the United States military older than the US. The other being the world's largest taxi-cab service, the United States Navy. Strangely, the United States Army is actually a couple of years younger than the US, simply because the Continental Army was disbanded after the Revolution, with each state providing for its own defense. That silly idea was rectified after the Articles of Confederation bombed miserably, but, because of that, the US Army is actually the Marine Corps' YOUNGER brother.

I'm trying not to gloat too much about that.

Anyway, after you are done celebrating the Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Essential birthday, tomorrow, you get to do it all over again, and celebrate ALL of the United States veterans. See? Marines aren't total glory hogs! We let all the other branches share in one of our two days of celebration.

At any rate, in years past, these two days usually meant two consecutive mornings with hangovers. I don't do that anymore, but, for these two days, I might just have to do a 12 ounce curl or two, just for old time's sake.

If the Army and the Navy,
Ever look on Heaven's scenes,
They will find the streets are gaurded
By

UNITED STATES MARINES!

Semper Fi, Mac.

Karma ain't so much fun

2005-11-05T09:17:00.000-08:00

It seems I am suffering a bit of karmic retribution since my previous gloating about how nice and warm the weather is down here in Texas.

I have heard many of the locals mumbling and grumbling about how unseasonable this weather is, and how they really wish the weather were a bit more autumn-like.

I think I should mention that "autumn-like" down here is, evidently, temperatures in the high 60s and lower 70s. And the locals are complaining that mid to high 80s is too warm for November.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *snort* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh at the misery of all y'all stuck up north in the cold. In January, I'm sure you'll get your payback, when the temperatures down here plummet to the mid to low 20s, with windchills driving temps to around 0.

*snicker*

I'm really trying....I am!

Yay for doctors!

2005-11-03T16:23:00.000-08:00

I went to the surgeon today, for a follow-up to my post-op follow-up.

Have I mentioned just how much I hate doctors?

Anyway, he said that the little signs of improvement I have had are actually good signs. He was quite optimistic about the little progress I have had, because, evidently, nerves take something like millenia to heal. So, I seem to be right on pace for recovery.

Please note, I did not say "full recovery". It seems that the little tidbit of information that he hasn't been real forthcoming with is how bad of a sign the pre-op clawing of my little finger was. Evidently, the clawing that I experienced pre-operation meant that the nerve was so badly pinched that regaining full use of my hand is rather unlikely. The surgery was to stop the loss of use, not to restore full use. So, after nine to twelve months (yes, it is going to take that long), I will have pretty much all of the use of my hand that I will ever get back.

Fuck him. I'm getting the use of my hand back. What the fuck does he know? He's just really handy with a knife. It's my hand. It will do what I tell it to do. And I am going to tell it to fucking heal properly.

Not even gonna bother calling this an "update"

2005-11-02T18:15:00.000-08:00

Got a couple of posts brewing in my head. One of them, by popular vote, is the theocracy v. democracy post. The other one, though, is gonna piss off quite a few people. If you have children, you'll probably be one of them. (the odds of being pissed off go up dramatically if I am your child....)

You may be asking yourself "Self? If he's got these wonderful posts in his head, why are they in his head, and not on this site, where they belong?"

Because the past couple of days have been "not good on the progress front" days. Not a lot of feeling in my hand, other than some cramping. The thought of typing for the next hour or two, frankly, makes me a bit nauseous.

So, in the near future, I'll get some wisdom up here for y'all to mock...right after my hand stops throwing this temper tantrum.

An excuse posing as an update

2005-10-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

Yeah, yeah. I know. I haven't put much up since my brilliant coffee post.

I'm going to use my hand as an excuse for that, even though it really isn't all that bad. I now have a feeling, more often than not, in my little finger, and the half of my ring finger that was numb isn't quite as numb as it was. But, my elbow (where they operated on) usually feels like I've been stabbed with an ice pick. And, every now and then, my hand decides that the sensation that it is going to send to my brain is "just got run through a hydraulic press". So, the good news is that I am, slowly but surely, getting feeling back. The bad news is, I'm getting feeling back, but, I'm getting about six months worth of damaged nerve feeling back. I'm not sure which is more important to me, right now....

Anyway, one of these days, I'm actually going to put up one of a couple of posts that have been banging the inside of my head, just begging to get out. If y'all want, you can tell which one you'd like to see first. They are, in no particular order:

Truths that must be realized.
Why theocracy is better than democracy.
A defense of fundamentalism.

Until then, I'll just give you a quick comparison/contrast of Texas and Wisconsin. It will be short, but, these are things that I have noticed, since I moved to the great Republic of Texas.

Texas is better because:

60 degrees is considered chilly.
50 degrees is considered cold.
90 degree temperatures in the middle of October don't even get commented on by the locals.
50% humidity is considered "muggy".
Locals reacted with horror at the thought of snow on Halloween.
Locals weren't too keen on the idea of rain on Halloween.
Locals were pretty sure they didn't like the idea of sub-70 degree temperatures on Halloween.
People will actually let you in, when you are trying to merge onto the highway.
You are looked at like a weirdo if you do NOT talk to the person behind the counter.
What-A-Burger.
Gas stations went to "pre-pay only" when gas prices hit $2.60 per gallon.
No state income tax.
7.5% sales tax.
Only two areas of Texas: Texas, and Austin. Wisconsin has no less than FOUR different areas, and people from each area don't trust the people from the other areas.

Wisconsin is better because:

Unified Department of Transportation offices. In Wisconsin, you don't have to go to two different buildings, or even offices, to get your car title AND driver's license changed over. You can do it at ONE counter, and even have a handy-dandy computer thingy at the entryway to tell you what forms you need to fill out for each.

Unified county services. I was here for three months, before I finally asked what the heck a "constable" was. Imagine my surprise when I found out they just serve court papers...a function county deputies do, in Wisconsin.

Better roads. Strangely, because Texas weather is so nice to roads, they don't repair them as often. A road has to get pretty darn bad before they do any repairs on it, down here. In Wisconsin, they just assume the road needs to be repaired after about three years, and actually get around to it, after around five. I have seen a road, in Travis County, where they just put up a "rough road" sign, rather than do any repairs to it. (Parmer Road, east of I-35, in case anyone was wondering)

Actual, life sized deer. I've seen the whitetail deer down here, and locals don't believe me when I tell them that a whitetail can look a 6ft man in the eye, in Wisconsin. Down here, in this area at least, they are slightly larger than dogs. Most of the ones you see on the side of the road barely go past your knee.

Water, water, everywhere. I have been down here for almost five months, and have yet to see a lake. I've seen a couple of rivers, but, I had to drive quite a ways to see them. I've seen about 8 creeks, though. They are small right now, but, when it rains, they'll flood a street. Didn't believe it, until I saw it. They actually have signs up, on certain roads, telling you not to take that road after a hard rain. Not is so many words, but, the locals seem to know the meaning of the signs.

Country living. I moved to the Austin area because I'm a cityboy, but, I'm a WISCONSIN city boy. Austin is a bit too large for me...at about 600,000 people. That's the size of Milwaukee, WI. And Austin is a "small" city, for Texas. Round Rock, where I live, would be one of the Top 15 largest cities in Wisconsin, at 60,000 plus change people. And it's a suburb of Austin. I liked being able to be anywhere in Madison, and drive 30 minutes, in any direction, and be in farmland. Much harder to do here.

Lest one think, from looking at my list, that I actually MISS Wisconsin...perish the thought. I moved here because the weather is warmer, and, other than Austin, the state is pretty conservative. The things I like about Wisconsin are things that would make Texas a slightly better place, not things that would actually change Texas to Wisconsin.

If one lives in either Milwaukee, WI, or Madison, WI, and likes the town, but, ain't too fond of the weather, Austin, TX is the place for you. You'll fit right in, and will have almost no culture shock, or acclimation time.

Conversely, if you live in the Austin area, and actually LIKE Austin, but, would like to see snow more than once a decade, Milwaukee or Madison would be great places for you to live. And you will have the same experience as the reverse move.

Anyway, that's all I have. I had to put something up, lest my blog start pouting from neglect.

Another Update That Doesn't Say Anything

2005-10-15T06:22:00.000-07:00

It has been...three? weeks since my surgery, and things are still up in the air. I have feeling back in a small portion of my hand, but, I have LOST feeling in part of my elbow. So, I'm taking that as a good sign.

As you can see by the post following this one, I can now type for a bit longer. I did have to take a couple of breaks during that post, and I'm going to spend the rest of my day manually extending my little finger, due to the clawing that post caused, but, it didn't hurt, and my hand and arm didn't cramp up during it. My hand did get fatigued, but, hey? What did I expect? There aren't any muscles left in my hand. Was I expecting God to miracle them back into existence?

Other than that, not much has changed. I have been trying not to get worried, or impatient, sometimes with success. The nerve was pretty badly damaged, so, it's gonna take a while for it to heal. In fact, from some hints that the surgeon and neurologist dropped, it could be six months before I even know if the surgery was successful! So, back to waiting....

Have I mentioned that I hate waiting? I'm not very patient.

The Most Important, Super-Duper-Super Secret Public Service Announcement, Ever

2005-10-15T05:07:00.000-07:00

Okay, I've been sitting on this for way too long.

There is a crisis in America, and it has been worrying me for some time, and I have finally decided to break my silence, and do my part to stop this crisis.

Just what is the nature of this crisis? Glad you asked. I'm going to tell you.

Life is just too damn short to drink the crap that passes for coffee in this country. It's either hot water with a hint of coffee, or, it's so bitter that Andrea Dworkin seems chipper and cheerful by comparison.

People, there is a solution to this problem, and I am going to tell you what it is, so you can stop drinking that crap that someone told you was coffee. (They lied, by the way.)

Don't let anyone in retail stores know this, but, your choice of beans for coffee really doesn't make much of a difference. With one (known by me) exception, the overwhelming majority of coffee beans that are sent to America are crap. We don't get the good stuff, we get the stuff that is left over after all the good stuff has been sent to coutries that know better. So, stop spending five hours looking for the perfect type of bean in the grocery store or local coffee shop. It ain't doing any good.

The one exception I mentioned is a little known bean, that, for several years, was one of the most expensive beans out there. (not THE most expensive. that's the still-grossly-overrated Blue Kona, if I remember the name correctly. I know it's a bean from ~~the Land of Grossly Overpriced Tourist Crap~~ Hawai'i, though) Now, since there are enough people, like me, in the US who have discovered its joys, the price has dropped down to the same price as all the overpriced crap coffee. That bean is Kenyan AA. Don't forget the AA part. From what I understand, the repetitive letters at the end signify that the beans are NOT the crap that is left over after all the good beans have been sent to people who know better. The letters mean that those beans ARE the good beans that are sent to people who know better. Take the hint, people. Be one of those people who knows better, and buy coffee that has two repetitive extra letters at the end.

Now, for another segue on the topic of beans....French Roast Coffee, and its evil younger sibling, Double French Roast Coffee. People, people, people....if I EVER catch you drinking that crap, I will slap you stupid. You won't get hit too many times, because, by drinking that crap, you already are most of the way to stupid. Just because it has the word "French" in the name, does NOT mean it is superior. In fact, as is usually the case, it means it is INferior, and covers its shame by associating itself with the most famous worthless cause that brags about its uselessness: fwance. You see, "French Roast" means they burnt the bejesis out of your beans. "Double French Roast" means that burning the beans once wasn't enough, so, they burnt them again. You are drinking burnt coffee. Stop it. Cripes, that's almost as bad as some Louisianan burning the crap out of someone's dinner, and charging them extra because it's "Cajun". It's burnt. Stop putting a dress on a pig. Jeez.

Anyhow, on to the important stuff. The actual construction of good coffee. (It has been pointed out to me that I don't 'make' coffee, I 'construct' it, because it's that darn good.)

After the beans, you need to have good water. Stop laughing. It makes a difference. Don't buy bottled water just for your coffee, because your tap water is more pure than the bottled crap. Trust me. In some areas, bottled water is EXACTLY the same stuff that comes out of your tap. So, buy a water filter. If you just don't have the spare scratch lying around to plunk down $20 or so for a water filter, don't worry about it. Filtered water makes a difference, but, not THAT much of a difference to justify paying for something you can't afford. But, filtered water tastes better than tap or bottled water, anyway, so....you may be able to justify it to the Spousal Unit on those grounds.

Now, if you are like me, at 6:00 AM, there isn't enough coffee in the world to make your morning any better, but, for good coffee, you need to rein that in a bit. You need to make LESS coffee, not more. Yes, you heard me. Less coffee.

Um...guards? Can you..um...move the lynch mob a bit further away from me? They're making me a bit nervous.

Thanks, guys.

Okay, where was I? Oh, that's right. Less coffee. Stop howling! You'll see the point in a minute.

You make less coffee, rather than more, because, frankly, you probably bought a crap coffee maker all those years ago. You bought a coffee maker that was too big. Yup. Too big. Yes, I know I'm a guy, and I just said something is too big.

Um....guards? The...um...crowd? Can you move them back a bit? The pitchforks scare me.

Thanks, guys. I owe you a cup of coffee after this.

Anyway, somewhere along the line, someone convinced Americans that a 10- or 12- cup coffee maker was better, because it was bigger. They lied. The simple fact is that after the first 4 to 6 cups of coffee, everything that comes drips down into the pot is acid. Acid makes your coffee bitter. In addition, you have the same amount of caffiene, and same amount of flavor, but, diluted with an additional 4 to 8 cups of water. Diluted coffee is BAD. VERY bad. Horridly bad. The rest of the world knows this. And, now, you do, too.

You don't need to run out and buy a coffee-snob 4 cup coffee maker, like I did. All you really need to do is stop filling your pot all the way to the top. Just fill it to 4 or 6 cups, and make your coffee with that amount.

Now, you may be saying to yourself, "Self, if I use less water, I can use less beans, right?". Sorry, but, wrong. You need to use at least close to the same amount of beans as you normally would. Using enough beans for 12 cups to make 4 cups of coffee is a bit...excessive. Even I'll admit that. But, I use enough beans for 6 to 8 cups of coffee for my little 4 cup coffee maker, and I have yet to hear someone complain that my coffee is too strong.

After your coffee is done brewing, you need to do possibly the most important step: pull the damn grounds. Immediately. Like, about 1 minute after the pump stops working, PULL THE DAMN GROUNDS OUT! I cannot stress this enough. Pull.the.grounds.out.IMMEDIATELY. Got that? Pull them. Now. Before now.

Why? Because of the aforementioned acid. Once the water has all run through, the grounds are still damp. This means there is more coffee hiding in the grounds, right? Nope. Sorry. What is hiding there is acid. Acid, as mentioned, makes your coffee bitter. If you like bitter, go to an ANSWER rally sometime. It's cheaper than ruining good coffee, and, it means that I may be able to purchase the coffee that you aren't ruining. If you are going to ruin coffee, stop it, and let me buy it. Don't worry, I'll drink it, if only to stop you from continuing to ruin coffee. God doesn't want you to ruin good coffee, and the Bible says so. I haven't found the verse yet, but, I know it's there. And, if it isn't there, it should be. Except for French Roast coffee. That is already ruined. You can do what you want to it. You can't make it any worse than it already is. But, I know that won't stop some of you from trying.

Now, on to some Advanced Coffee Construction tips.

If you have a couple extra dollars, and a couple of extra weeks, find a gold coffee filter basket. If you have a 10 or a 12 cup coffee maker, you shouldn't have too much trouble finding one. The local Wal-Mart here has them. But, if you are a coffee snob (and if you aren't, why aren't you?!), like me, you have to do some hunting. And possibly some special ordering. A gold coffee filter basket has two important benefits. The first benefit is ease of dumping the grounds. All you do is pull the handy-dandy handle up, and the filter comes out, and you can dump the grounds, and replace the filter. The other benefit is a slight (VERY slight) difference in taste. Paper filters have chemicals in them that minorly affect the flavor of your coffee. It doesn't matter if you are using white (bleached) filters, or brown (unbleached) filters. The chemicals used to make paper that thin don't taste good. Nor should they, because they are toxic. But, you aren't going to consume enough of the chemicals to really have to worry about toxicity, and, if you aren't energetic enough to hunt for a gold basket filter, it doesn't make THAT much of a difference in the taste.

The other tip I have concerns buying whole beans versus buying grounds. Frankly, using the process above, it doesn't make that much of a difference. Folgers will taste good if you use the above process. And, if you like the taste of Folgers coffee, why bother spending that much more for coffee that you won't like as much? Seriously. Folgers (and all other bulk pre-ground coffee) has several advantages over coffee-snob coffee. For one, ease of use. Pre-ground means less time taken getting the coffee ready. Secondly, mass quantities. Quantity is its own form of quality. If you are just choking down a cup of coffee in the morning, to get the motor running, Folgers will work just as well as any other coffee, and is a LOT cheaper. Third, sealed containers. Bulk pre-ground coffees come in resealable containers, which means you don't have to waste more money buying sealed containers to keep your coffee from going stale. So, you save money twice by buying bulk stuff.

All that being said, I buy whole beans, and grind them as I go. When I make coffee, it's a project, and a weekend ritual that I like. Grinding your beans as you go makes a FAR superior cup of coffee, but, some may not find the added expense and time to worth the better flavor. Your choice. But, if you put me in charge of coffee, it will be ground as I go, and I'll take the extra time to make coffee that is worth drinking.

Now that I've ranted and raved about coffee, I have to give credit where credit is due. Most of this stuff I learned from Harvey, of Bad Example. Way back when, when we ~~goofed off~~ worked at Pizza Pit, Harvey and I used to make coffee that did our work for us. It also rolled over, played dead, and would fetch the newspaper for you. It would also bite you, if you didn't watch it closely. Harvey considered a pot of coffee a complete failure if you could see light through the coffee after brewing. He made Folgers taste good. So, thank you, Harvey, for opening my eyes to the joys of good coffee, and ensuring I never had to drink bad coffee again.

Updates of Sorts

2005-10-06T17:20:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the long absence, but, typing has been a bit more...uncomfortable...than usual.

I had my post-op check-up today, and I now have a little bit more information to impart to y'all.

First things first; I am now the proud owner of an $11,000 (plus or minus some pocket change), 5 inch scar on the inside of my elbow. For the past two weeks, my arm had been wrapped from mid bicep/tricep to mid-hand, so, I had not had any chance to see the surgeon's ~~damage~~ handiwork. It's a beauty of a scar. It's very well sutured, and won't be all that bad, once it heals. But, it is longer than all of the other surgery scars I have (three surgeries, seven scars) COMBINED! And it is the most expensive scar I have, by a lot.

I suppose y'all are also wondering about how successful the surgery was. Very successful, based on some important criteria. One: I woke up from it. Due to my rather young age, and slightly better than average health, it wasn't likely that I'd have any complications from the surgery, but, stranger things have happened. Two: My ulnar nerve was successfully relocated, from behind my elbow (the ulnar nerve is your funny bone nerve) to the inside of my elbow. So, no more whacking of the funny bone for me. This surgery may have been worth it, just for that fact alone... Three: It hasn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it would. In fact, the incision only hurt for about 2 1/2 days, and that was without any painkillers. And, of those 2 1/2 days, it was actually only really painful for 1/2 day, the day I got home from surgery. The other two days, it was just really tender. So, all in all, it wasn't that bad.

I've been putting off talking about the whole reason for this surgery: the use of my left hand. On that subject, I guess I would have to say:

So, anyway, speaking of sharks....

So far, the results have been...mixed...at best. On some days, my hand is no better than it was before the surgery. On other days, it hurts, a lot. Like, my hand has been hit with a hammer hurts-a-lot. Some days, I can move my affected fingers freely. Other days, I have to physically grab my fingers to straighten them out, just like before the surgery. And on other days, all of those things will be true, but, based on a hour-by-hour basis.

The surgeon seemed a little concerned by all of this, today, but, he decided (a bit at my prompting) that all of those things were positive signs, because, before the surgery, I felt no pain, and had no control in my fingers. Now, to even have intermittent feeling (even if it is just pain) and control of my fingers is an improvement, of sorts.

I have also gained a small amount of strength back in my hand. The other day, I was, with a little bit of effort, able to use a nail clippers. It may not seem like much to you, but, a little over two weeks ago, that was an impossibility for me.

You also may have noticed that this post is a lot longer than most of my other, pre-op, posts. There is a reason for that. It doesn't hurt nearly as much to type for long times anymore. It's still not comfortable, but, it doesn't cause the massive cramping that it used to.

So, all in all, I'm going to be positive, and just assume that everything is going swimmingly, until someone or something convinces me otherwise. And if you try to convince me otherwise, I'll think you'll find that my right hand still works just fine, thank you very much.

Live! From Planet VlC0DlN !!!!!

2005-09-20T17:21:00.000-07:00

Yeah, yeah... I know... that word in the title looks weird... I just didn't want everyone googling for cheap prescription drugs to end up here.

Well, AJ is home, resting not so comfortably after the surgeon did his thing on AJ's elbow. Yes, it was a pinched nerve in his elbow, and yes, it really was very, very pinched. He has a splint on his arm from his hand to above his elbow, and that will stay on for 10 days. He's been fed and medicated and I can hear snoring even as I type this.

Nope, no pics of him drooling on his pillow, or the goofy little grin he had before all the sedation wore off. Well, unless he turns into Mr. Grumpy. Then all bets are off...

He already has a little bit of feeling in his pinkie and even more in his ring finger. Keep praying that it continues to improve.

OK... I'm going to make sure that he's ok, and then I'm going to slip out of here. Y'all leave comments if you want, but... keep the noise down, ok? AJ needs his sleep.

Okay... Let's Try This Again

2005-09-16T12:20:00.000-07:00

Beth again... everyone has (hopefully) had complete recovery from their severe cases of cranial-rectal implantation, and the slice and dice on AJ's arm has been rescheduled for next Tuesday (Sept. 20th).

I only see one potential glitch in this little plan. The surgery is scheduled for 2:30pm (1430 hours 2030 GMT for those of you who never quite made the transition back to the civilian world). And... as with all surgery, AJ can't eat anything after midnight Monday night. How do I put this? Remember the old cartoons where the guy has been out in the desert and is starving, and everyone looks like a chicken leg? Any of you who have stood between AJ and the dinner table can see why I fear for everyone's safety on Tuesday.

Barring another snafu, I'll let you know what happens then.

Beth

How Do You Spell SNAFU?

2005-09-15T15:46:00.000-07:00

Hi! This is Beth. I had great plans for today. Get up WAY too early in the morning, pick AJ up and took him to the hospital so that the good doctor could work his magic on AJ's arm. Then I was going to pick him up, drive his loopy rear back to his apartment, and read a book or two while AJ slept off the remainder of the anesthesia. Maybe take a few pics of him drooling on his pillow or of his soon-to-be new scar, and post 'em for all of you to see. I'd make sure he got some food, and then head home.

What went right with that plan? Well... got up WAY too early... took AJ to the hospital... yup... that's about it.

His surgery was canceled (don't ask... long story). The problem is that NO ONE bothered to tell him that. They're trying to reschedule for tomorrow, but... no one's holding their breath, are they?

More updates as people resolve their cranial-rectal implantation.

Beth

Update the Umpteenth

2005-09-08T13:06:00.000-07:00

Surgery is scheduled for Thursday, September 15th.

Finally.

It only took a phone call almost every day for two weeks to get the surgery scheduled. Actually, it averaged out to be one phone call for every business day since I was told that surgery was going to be performed, because I took a day off from work, and pestered the living ... out of the surgeon's office.

I'm not real proud of some of the things I said to the poor scheduler, but, they weren't getting things done without having a fire lit under their butts. Why is it that people who work in offices assume everyone else in the world does?

Anyway, next week, the real fun begins. I have to take a day off from work to have the surgery done, and may have to take another one off, to recover. With the cost of the surgery added in, this is gonna be real expensive for me.

Oh, well. I'll get healed first, and worry about paying for it later. If I'm not healthy, I can't pay the bill.

truth comes from the strangest sources.

2005-09-07T15:22:00.000-07:00

I found this over at the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler.

It is really sad that most people won't get offended by a cartoon saying those things, but, will get offended when a person says them.

Truth is truth, people. Get over it.

...someone is in a lot of trouble for this one....

2005-09-01T11:33:00.000-07:00

I hate memes. I really do. I hate chain letters, pyramid letters, "Send this e-mail to 5000 of your closest friends" letters, and "tell us something really trivial about yourself" letters.

But, Beth has one that is too stupid for me to pass up.

So, here goes.

The rules? Bold means I liked it, struck through means I didn't, normal means I don't remember it, and bold AND underlined means it is my favorite song out of all of them.

1. ~~Look Away, Chicago~~
2. My Prerogative, Bobby Brown
3. Every Rose Has Its Thorn, Poison
4. Straight Up, Paula Abdul
5. ~~Miss You Much, Janet Jackson~~
6. Cold Hearted, Paula Abdul
7. ~~Wind Beneath My Wings, Bette Midler~~
8. ~~Girl You Know Its True, Milli Vanilli~~
9. ~~Baby, I Love Your Way/Freebird, Will To Power~~
10. Giving You The Best That I Got, Anita Baker
11. Right Here Waiting, Richard Marx
12. Waiting For A Star To Fall, Boy Meets Girl
13. Lost In Your Eyes, Debbie Gibson
14. ~~Don't Wanna Lose You, Gloria Estefan~~
15. Heavan, Warrant
16. ~~Girl I'm Gonna Miss You, Milli Vanilli~~
17. The Look, Roxette
18. ~~She Drives Me Crazy, Fine Young Cannibals~~
19. On Our Own, Bobby Brown
20. ~~Two Hearts, Phil Collins~~
21. ~~Blame It On The Rain, Milli Vanilli~~
22. ~~Listen To Your Heart, Roxette~~
23. ~~I'll Be There For You, Bon Jovi~~
24. If You Don't Know Me By Now, Simply Red
25. Like A Prayer, Madonna
26. ~~I'll Be Loving You (Forever), New Kids On The Block~~
27. How Can I Fall?, Breathe
28. ~~Baby Don't Forget My Number, Milli Vanilli~~
29. ~~Toy Solider, Martika~~
30. Forever Your Girl, Paula Abdul
31. The Living Years, Mike and the Mechanics
32. ~~Eternal Flame, The Bangles~~
33. Wild Thing, Tone Loc
34.~~When I See You Smile, Bad English~~
35. ~~If I Could Turn Back Time, Cher~~
36. Buffalo Stance, Neneh Cherry
37. When I'm With You, Sheriff
38. Don't Rush Me, Taylor Dayne
39. ~~Born To Be My Baby, Bon Jovi~~
40. ~~Good Thing, Fine Young Cannibals~~
41. The Lover In Me, Sheena Easton
42. Bust A Move, Young M.C.
43. Once Bitten, Twice Shy, Great White
44. Batdance, Prince
45. ~~Rock On, Michael Damian~~
46. Real Lov, Jody Watley
47. Love Shack, B-52's
48. Every Little Step, Bobby Brown
49. ~~Hangin' Tough, New Kids On The Block~~
50. My Heart Can't Tell You No, Rod Stewart
51. ~~So Alive, Love and Rockets~~
52. ~~You Got It (The Right Stuff), New Kids On The Block~~
53. Armageddon It, Def Leppard
54. ~~Satisfied, Richard Marx~~
55. Express Yourself, Madonna
56. I Like It, Dino
57. ~~Soldier Of Love, Donny Osmond~~
58. ~~Sowing The Seeds Of Love, Tears For Fears~~
59. ~~Cherish, Madonna~~
60. ~~When The Children Cry, White Lion~~
61. 18 And Life, Skid Row
62. ~~I Don't Want Your Love, Duran Duran~~
63. Second Chances, .38 Special
64. The Way You Love Me, Karyn White
65. Funky Cold Medina, Tone Loc
66. ~~In Your Room, Bangles~~
67. ~~Miss You Like Crazy, Natalie Cole~~
68. ~~Love Song, Cure~~
69. Secret Rendesvous, Karyn White
70. ~~Angel Eyes, Jeff Healey Band~~
71. Patience, Guns N' Roses
72. ~~Walk On Water, Eddie Money~~
73. ~~Cover Girl, New Kids On The Block~~
74. Welcom To The Jungle, Guns N' Roses
75. Shower Me With Your Love, Surface
76. Stand, R.E.M.
77. Close My Eyes Forever, Lita Ford
78. ~~All This Time, Tiffany~~
79. ~~After All, Cher and Peter Cetera~~
80. Roni, Bobby Brown
81.~~Love In An Elevator, Aerosmith~~
82. ~~Lay Your Hands On Me, Bon Jovi~~
83. This Promise, When In Rome
84. ~~What I Am, Edie Brickell and The New Bohemians~~
85. I Remember Holding You, Boys Club
86. Paradise City, Guns N' Roses
87. Iwanna Have Some Fun, Samantha Fox
88. She Wants To Dance With Me, Rick Astley
89. Dreamin', Vanessa Williams
90. It's No Crime, Babyface
91. ~~Poison, Alice Cooper~~
92. This Time I Know It's For Real, Donna Summer
93. ~~Smooth Criminal, Michael Jackson~~
94. Heavan Help Me, Deon Estus
95. Rock Wit'cha, Bobby Brown
96. Thinking Of You, Sa-fire
97. What You Don't Know, Expose
98. Surrender To Me, Ann Wilson and Robin Zander
99. ~~The End Of The Innocence, Don Henley~~
100. Keep On Movin', Soul II Soul

I'll be willing to bet the underlined one surprised quite a few of you.

On wasting time

2005-08-31T17:22:00.000-07:00

Still no news on the surgery front. The surgeon wanted to see the EMG from the neurologist. So, he asked for the EMG on Friday.

It is now Wednesday, and he still doesn't have the results. In the meantime, I've been burning up the phone lines to the surgeon's office, trying to find out what the fuck is going on. (sorry about the profanity, but, I used much more on the phone) On Monday, I called to find out what was going on, and left a message for the scheduler to call me back. (she was on another line) When I got home on Tuesday (two hours after the surgeon's office closed), I still hadn't heard anything. So, I left ANOTHER message, this one a little nastier. I get home today (after leaving work two hours early so I could try and schedule this surgery before their office closed), they STILL hadn't called me back. So, I called them, again.

This time, I was pretty nasty. When the receptionist asked to get my phone number so the scheduler could call me back, I said "No. I'll talk to her NOW. I left a message for her on Monday, about a phone call I was supposed to recieve Monday, and I left a message yesterday. I've had to take off five hours of work, just in the past three days, to wait for someone to call me back, and I'm done letting you call me back. So, I'll wait." She complied.

When I actually talked to the scheduler, at first, she was a little irate with me, until I revealed to her how much MORE irate I was, and for what reasons. It seems the first message she had been given that I had called was 30 seconds before she picked up the phone today....

Anyway, the surgeon is STILL waiting for the EMG, and will hopefully call me back tomorrow with a date for some cuttin'.

Still Not Liking the Doctors...

2005-08-25T18:13:00.000-07:00

... especially when they don't quite agree.

It's Beth again... AJ's in a better mood... just not quite up to typing a post.

So... he went to the surgeon today. The surgeon isn't so sure he buys into the whole "it's all in the wrist" idea. He's putting his money on the ulnar nerve in the elbow. He wants to have a look at the EMG test results to double check things, but... since he's the one with the sharp knives... the elbow gets sliced into.

So, he's going to have surgery. When? Well... uh... you are sitting down for this? The doctor wants to do this sometime next week. Yup... next week.

Once he knows a firm date, either he or I will let everyone know. Keep him (and the doctor) in your prayers.

On Still Hating Doctors...

2005-08-20T19:25:00.000-07:00

This is Beth, not AJ... his hand hurts, he's bummed out, and... well... he doesn't feel like writing about this. He got the results of the MRI today. Words like "non-specific" and "minimal abnormality" are not things you want to read, much less write about.

The "Impressions" section is... less than impressive...

1. No evidence of mass effect or signal abnormality in Gehan's canal to suggest compression of the ulnar nerve.
2. Minimal signal abnormality in the proximal aspect of the lunate (wrist bone- B), which is a non-specific finding and is likely degenerative or post traumatic.

If he (and I) are reading that correctly, that means that they know something is wrong (DUH!), but they don't have a clue what it might be. So... the surgeon, instead of being given a pin-point location to place his scalpel, he'll be given "lunate bone". Well, I guess that's better than "somewhere south of his left shoulder".

His appointment with the surgeon is next Thursday. Keep him in your prayers (well, both AJ and the surgeon, now that I think about it). I'm sure he'll keep you updated. Or I will.

Beth

On idle ramblings to kill some time

2005-08-19T14:54:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd take some time, and fling up some random thoughts, just to remind myself that I actually DO have a blog, and it actually does NOT take care of itself.

Bow before the shopping god.

I went food shopping last night, and got enough food stuff and makings for food stuff to last me the next month, at least. I spent about $90 doing it, and total elapsed time from the minute I parked my car to the minute I started it back up to leave was 28 minutes.

Of course, I don't have much selection for the next month, but, I have food.

Don't ask me how much more I spent on soda. I'd be embarassed to say.

So, I get home from work today, and change clothes, just to have the illusion of not being covered in dust and garbage. I put on an old work shirt, just because, and had a serious mixed emotions moment.

This shirt used to be...not tight, but....close fitting on me, last year. Now, it looks almost like a tent on me. My first thought was "YAY! I've lost a lot of weight!" My second thought was "Wait, I'm still just about *mumblemumble* lbs....wow. I was a fat pig a year ago." Most people have an involuntary gasp when I tell them how much I weigh. I don't look it.

I really need to figure out how to record my thoughts during the day. While I'm working, I have brilliant insights, life changing revelations, and answers to most of life's questions. When I get home, though...nothing. I'm a dunce. I'd be hard pressed to 'earn' the 600 point on the SAT for signing my name.

I really should have been a football player.

Hooray for more updates!

2005-08-18T17:03:00.000-07:00

I had an MRI done yesterday. I haven't received the results, but, the neurologist has.

I was told to make an appointment with the surgeon. So, I did. I guess that means the MRI found something.

More surgery. More debt. Yay for me.

On Public Service Announcements

2005-08-17T19:15:00.000-07:00

Fuckheads who order $300 worth of food IN THE DRIVE THROUGH should be killed immediately. If you are going to order enough food to feed a small army, get off your fucking fat ass, and walk into the store and order it inside.

(Insert an hour or so of profanity and suggestions of sexual impropriety involving animals here. My hand hurts. Four little letters for you. Learn them. Love them. Live them. C O P E.)

You have been warned. I will not be nice next time.

More Updates

2005-08-15T16:25:00.000-07:00

Some of you, from other sites, might have noticed that I've been a bit more...vocal...on your sites recently. The reason for this is that I think I've actually gotten my wrecked hand strong enough to type for longer than a minute without getting horrible cramps. After about five minutes, though, it's crampin' time again. So, no long posts from me yet.

In other developments, though, I have an MRI scheduled for this coming Wednesday. Hopefully, the MRI will show where the pinch is, so someone can go in there, and unpinch the nerve. Not being able to feel half of my hand is getting quite annoying. I don't even want to try to describe the frustration at not being able to use the darn thing...

I still avoid looking at my hand, though. It's a mere skeleton. And that is only barely an exaggeration. Barely. I can almost see my bones in my hand on my left hand, and on my right, they are covered by some nice, meaty, non-atrophied muscle. Oh, well. Once they fix the problem, then, I'll get to start building up strength again. Won't that be fun?

Updates

2005-08-10T19:47:00.000-07:00

I saw the neurologist today.

Have I mentioned how much I hate doctors?

Anyway, the tests he was going to run would normally take 45 minutes, if the problem was easy to find, and 1 1/2 hours and up, if the problem were harder.

Liking to do things the hard way, I found a third option: nerve damage so bad, the neurologist couldn't find the damaged point at all. So, my tests only took 45 minutes to find out that he couldn't find out where the damage was. In addition, the damage is not where he expected it to be. In a ulnar nerve neuropathy, the vast majority of the time, the damage is in the elbow, and rarely, in the neck. I took the third option yet again, and have my damage somewhere in my wrist. No clue where, but, it is probably in my wrist.

I say "probably" because the doctor couldn't find ANY neural signals to localize the damage. I mean, nothing. Even running an electric shock through my arm (that test sucks, by the way...a lot) couldn't get any response from the nerve. Then he stuck a needle in my arm and hand, to listen to the nerve. Nothing. Not. A. Darn. Thing. I think Jello™ has more electrical activity than the nerve that controls my hand. So, with no possibility of running a signal through the nerve, he can not find out where the damage is. But, he made an semi-educated guess that the nerve damage is in my wrist, because the tests seem to indicate that it MIGHT be.

So, I get to go to a upper extremity specialist, who will probably have to cut open my wrist to find out if that is where the damage is. If it isn't, then, he gets to cut open my elbow to check there. After all of THAT cutting, then, I'll be willing to bet I'll get to be cut open, yet again, to actually fix the damage.

All in all, I'm pretty much going to be in debt up to my eyeballs, yet again. I've spent $700 on 4 doctor's visits, to tell me to visit other doctors, and I'm still no closer to being able to use my hand properly. Add in a surgery or two (at $3000 or more a pop), and, frankly, I'm in a lot of debt for a long time. Again.

But, I've dug myself out of debt twice before, and, I'll do it again. I really don't have a choice. I need to use my hand.

On a slightly different note, I should take this time to make a mention of my mental state.

Not once in all of this have I ever asked "Why me, Lord?". Not once. Seriously. I haven't even counter-questioned with "Why not me, Lord?". If He has some plan for me that involves losing the use of my hand, so be it. I'm not going to question Him, and I'm not going to second guess Him. Besides, I'm still not man enough to argue with Him.

I'm a bit bummed, because of the monetary question, and the question "what do I do if I can't use my hand?", but, I'm trying not to dwell on that. After all the various bumps, bruises, injuries, diseases, and damage that I've done to myself over the years, I've kind of learned to not think about the "what ifs" and "what will I do?" too much. I've made it through all of them, and I see no reason why I won't make it through this. So, I'm not going to worry about it. Besides, pain has been such a constant companion to me these past 20 years, I'm almost used to it by now. On a relatively pain-free day, for me, I get out of bed in enough pain to keep many other people in the bed. That's what happens when you are a long distance runner, Marine, and truck driver with flat feet. You get to be in pain. A lot.

A recap for new visitors

2005-08-09T21:37:00.000-07:00

I wouldn't normally do this, but, I'll do it, this time, because the Emperor Darth Misha I saw fit to bring (some rather unwanted) attention to my situation. So, for all of you migrating over from the Rott and other destinations, I'll recap what my little situation is.

I moved to Texas on June 3rd, and immediately found a place to live and a job. (within 48 hours of arriving) I interviewed for my job, at a local garbage collection company, on Thursday, and started on Monday.

All was going swimmingly, except for one teeny-tiny little problem.

On the Sunday before I was to start, my little finger on my left hand went numb. Not a little numb, but, dead-to-all-sensation numb. "No biggie" I thought. It will go away. Besides, I'm a big, tough garbage man. (YOU! Stop snickering!) I'll just tough it out.

Well, for the first couple of days on the job, it was uncomforable, but, not unbearable. By Wednesday, though, half of my ring finger was numb, as well, and I had almost no strength remaining in my left hand. "No biggie", I thought. It will go away. Besides, I'm a big, tough garbage man. (stop it....I mean it!)

The next week, my hand was even weaker, and still no feeling in my little finger, and half of my ring finger. I was informed that this probably meant I had a pinched nerve. "No biggie" I thought. It will unpinch, and I'll get the use of my hand back. Besides, I'm a big, tough garbage man. (I'm serious, here...stop giggling!)

After two weeks of this crap, I caved, and went to the doctor. Or, more accurately, a local clinic, where I was attended to by a nurse-practitioner. She told me that these things usually went away by themselves, and to come back in a couple of weeks if it didn't go away on its own. "No biggie" I thought. That's what I was doing anyway. Besides....aw, heck with it. I'm tired of the giggling.

About five weeks later, still no feeling, and I really didn't like looking at my hand, so....I didn't. I went back to the clinic, and the nurse-practitioner told me "Uh...this isn't good. Let's have a doctor look at this." Doc checks me out for...oh....ten seconds? and says "The nerve is damaged. There isn't anything we can do for you. Here are some phone numbers of neurologists. Maybe one of them can help you." So, off I go to the neurologist.

The neurologist looked at my hand, poked around, and said "Yep. You've got a pinched nerve. That's really pinched. Normally, we would expect to see SOME nervous impulses getting through, but, you don't have any. Let's do some tests next week, so the surgeon knows where to cut you." Thanks. I really love surgery. Not.

In addition, the neurologist is of the opinion that the atrophy is WAAAAAAYYYY too far advanced to have been caused by two months of inactivity. You see, there isn't a whole lot of muscle remaining in my left hand. I'm a garbage man, and before that, I delivered doors and windows, and before that, I delivered liquor, and before that, I delivered party goods. I have strong hands. Or, more recently, I have a strong hand on one side, and a sack of bones with a lot of skin hanging off of it on the other side. It's really bad. Really, REALLY bad. Like, I'm worried about how long it is going to take to rebuild the muscle in my bad hand.

Anyway, I get to pay for all these doctor visits and tests and surgery and rehab, all by my lonesome. No insurance, and I pretty much bled my monetary reserves dry with the move. So, I'm going to be going into debt up to my eyeballs...again.

No, I'm not asking for help. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't accept any, even if it was offered. So, keep your checkbooks in your pocket, and do some praying. That will go much farther than any pennies and nickels you send my way.

On Doctors and Reasons to Hate Them

2005-08-04T15:53:00.000-07:00

I have good news, and I have bad news, and I have could-be-good-or-bad news. What do you want to hear first?

Let's go with the bad news first. The neurologist I saw today was surprised at the level of atrophy in my hand- too much to have happened in only two months. So, this might have been going on longer, under the radar, than I had originally thought. As of right now, there are no (zip, zero, nada) nerve impulses getting through to my hand. But, hey... at least it's only pinched and not cut, right?

Could-be-good-or-bad news is that he (or a neurosurgeon that he knows) might be able to fix it if he can locate where the nerve is pinched, and if it wasn't pinched too badly for too long, and if the surgeon can free it without causing more problems. Yes, there are a lot of ifs there, but, at least he didn't tell that there's nothing he can do and have a nice life.

I go back next week so that the good doctor can hook a bunch of electrodes to my arm to try (successfully, we hope) to find out exactly where the pinch is. Then he can tell the surgeon exactly where to slice and dice on my arm.

Ah, yes, the good news. You can read all of the Sherlock Holmes short stories in (almost) one sitting. Okay, it took me about two weeks to read all 3000 pages. The down side to that, however, is that I have discovered a group of people worse than Trekkies. Sherlock Holmes fanatics should be avoided at all costs. You have been warned. Those freaks actually believe Sherlock Holmes was a real person, Dr. John Watson wrote the stories, and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle just took the credit. Evidently, there are volumes of books written on where Holmes went to school (Cambridge or Oxford), whether Sherlock was a man or woman, and countless pages devoted to where the events of the stories actually occured.

How....interesting.

2005-07-28T16:16:00.000-07:00

Talked to a doctor today about my hand.

Is it a bad thing when the doctor says "I can't do anything for you. Sorry. Here are the phone numbers to some neurologists who might be able to help."?

Thought so.

Okay, here's the deal....

2005-07-17T07:38:00.000-07:00

Grr. Still don't have full use of my hand. My hand doesn't hurt, nor does any other place, to let me know where the pinched nerve might be. My hand is just....numb. And, since there aren't any signals getting through to that part of my hand, it is also partially paralyzed.

I haven't been putting posts up, like I promised, because, well, forcing my hand to type properly IS possible, but, puts a lot of strain on the muscles that aren't shirking their duties....meaning, I get rather nasty cramps in my hand after about....one minute...of typing. One minute?! I can barely say "Hello! How are you?" in less than a minute! (those of you who have met me in the real world will get that joke...)

So, here's the deal. The doctor I saw *mumblemumble* weeks ago told me that these things usually clear up in about a month. It hasn't. She told me to take a pain killer, to reduce any swelling that might be causing the pinch, and the pain killer she told me to take did diddly-poo. So, I'm taking my old tried-and-true obsene quantities of ibuprofen, to take care of this. IF this doesn't work in a week, I'll go see the doctor, and have a lot of tests run....which I have to pay for out of my own pocket.

Last time I checked, getting ONE x-ray cost about.....$300?

Oh, well. I've been in debt up to my eyeballs before. Might as well do it again. I'm almost used to it, by now.

Promises, promises.

2005-07-09T10:30:00.000-07:00

Today, I WILL get my After-Action Reports up. They won't be as good as they should be, because too much time has elapsed, but, I'll hit the highlights.

My hand WILL perform the duties that it is required to do. I haven't given it any other option.

I do have a pretty good idea of what is causing the problem, where it is located, and how to fix it, though. A little time, and money, and a touch of effort and patience should do the trick. Much cheaper than going to a doctor, who will probably tell me to do the same darn thing I'm going to do.

Oh, well. After I run some errands, I'll start putting stuff up.

Still not doing what it is supposed to be doing

2005-07-05T19:33:00.000-07:00

Again, sorry for the light posting. Through some unintentional diagnostic work, it appears that I have some swelling somewhere in either my elbow or upper arm that is pinching the nerve, preventing me from using my left hand properly.

Some days, it's almost bearable. Other days, like today, I almost want to cut my hand off, since it is almost that useful anyway.

If it doesn't get better in the next couple of days, I'll put some posts up anyway. I've been making my hand do things it's not supposed to do for the past two weeks anyway. I can make it type correctly.

Oh, This Is Rich....

2005-07-02T14:25:00.000-07:00

The temperature is over 100 here, right now.

I have been informed that I am, possibly, the ONLY soul in Texas who is actually HAPPY about this.

You see, we are getting a wind out of the south east, meaning the wind is blowing in off of the Gulf of Mexico. That wind is dragging the humidity up, with all the moisture from that really big body of water. (It's even bigger than Texas! Honest!)

So, what exactly is this horrid humidity that is being caused by the South Eastern wind?

28%.

Twenty. Eight. Percent.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Good Lord above, I love this state.

Be jealous of me

2005-06-28T20:18:00.000-07:00

Heh. Just spent a metric butt-ton of money at BMG, for a half-metric butt-ton of music.

Most of what I got is standard Bible-thumpin' Jesus-freak fare, but....

Right now, I'm groovin' out to Gordon Lightfoot's Sundown...after I listened to his Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald...twice.

After that, I think I'm going to go to sleep to some Jim Croce.

Life is good. Be jealous of me.

Grrr

2005-06-27T19:59:00.000-07:00

Grrr. My hand is still bothering me. Typing is still quite painful, as is my job, as is doing just about anything I need my left hand for.

I promisepromisepromise I'll have an After Action Report for my trip down here AND an After Action Report for this past weekend.

All I have to say is, Texas could have surrendered peacefully this past weekend. It didn't. So, we're gonna have to do this the hard way.

I just may have to teach Texas a lesson, and draft some reinforcements from Wisconsin.

Yeah... I (Beth) Fixed It

2005-06-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

So... is this better?

Beth

New home, same excuses

2005-06-21T17:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, sorry I didn't put up a post like I said I was going to. You see, I pinched a nerve in my elbow, which has near-paralyzed 1/2 of my left hand, and left me with about 1/2 use of the rest of it, leaving me with, functionally, 1/4 use of my left hand. For those of you who are curious, my broken hand is the right hand...

So, typing with only 25-50% use of my left hand is...how do I say this...rather uncomfortable. The thought of trying to pound something out for the site sends chills up my spine, because of all the contortions I have to force my left hand to make to type at a reasonable level. Plus, I have to type most words three or four times, because I make so many typos, due to my fingers not doing what I tell them to do, meaning typing is even MORE uncomfortable.

I talked to doctor, and, frankly, she was a worthless as tits on a bull. Her advice was "Wait a couple of weeks for it to go away on its own. If it doesn't, then, we'll run some (really, REALLY expensive) tests." Thanks, doc. I could have done the "wait for it to go away on its own" treatment on my own, and saved myself $100.

...What has she done?!

2005-06-18T19:48:00.000-07:00

*sigh* It's not as bad as I thought it would be....

Of course, it's still not good.

If I were Beth, or Harvey, or Brad, or any of you other knuckleheads who egged her on, I'd be running and hiding, if I were you.

I love you guys anyway.

It's good to be home. I'll have details tomorrow, when I hope I have more use out of my hand. Long story. I'll explain tomorrow.

UPDATE: Okay, Brad is off the hook. Sorry about the Blue-on-Blue. The rest of you, on the other hand....(shakes fist)

One Last Non-AJ Post...

2005-06-17T14:41:00.000-07:00

So... just how much trouble will I be in when AJ sees this?

Beth

One More Post Not By AJ

2005-06-11T17:09:00.000-07:00

Talked to him today. He was on his way to Wally World to do a little retail therapy (which I don't think means as much to guys as it does to us girls... oh, well... )

Latest tidbit of info... he'll have internet hooked up next Saturday (as well as phone service). So... only one more week to decorate his place. Any more ideas???

Unless something major happens, the next update will be from the Humble Devildog, himself.

And yet another post not written by AJ

2005-06-11T07:35:00.000-07:00

I'm telling you... AJ really needs to get internet access, or I'm redecorating these digs...

Seriously, AJ finished his first week at his new job. I'll let him fill in all the details once he gets back on the internet. He moves into his apartment today.

It sounds like he's been doing a bit of recon, getting the lay of the land. His first large scale interaction with the natives will be at the Bacchanal on the Comal. If you haven't made plans to attend (and you live within driving/flying distance), you really should.

OK... let's see... Harvey suggested pink in the kitchen... how about lavender paint for the bathroom?

Another Update Not Written By AJ

2005-06-03T07:08:00.000-07:00

AJ is alive and well and currently living (in a hotel for a few days) in the pretty decent town of Round Rock in the great State of Texas. The apartment he's trying to rent won't be ready for move in until the 10th. Well, drat.

He starts work on Monday for a competitor of the company he used to work for (no tears were shed, as far as I can tell). He'll be working on a truck with another guy, but he'll be doing all the hard work (my interpretation, not his words). I don't think he'll have to do quite as much walking, so he'll probably be down to only needing 2573 calories a day, instead of his usual 3000+.

That's all from him for now. Hopefully he'll be able to get internet service pretty quick. I'm sure y'all rather be hearing from him.

Funny... I don't look like AJ...

2005-05-31T17:51:00.000-07:00

Silly AJ! He gave me his password!

This is Beth, btw. AJ is currently on the road, somewhere in southern Oklahoma. For some reason, there's no internet access in his car. He really needs to work on that.

He's making pretty good time. He plans on making it into Dallas sometime tonight. He'll meet up with friends tomorrow, then head on down to the Austin tomorrow (Wednesday) night.

I'll try to keep everyone updated on where AJ is and what he's up to until he has internet access again. And I might rearrange the furniture while I'm here. Maybe add some frilly curtains and some throw pillows.

Nah... I'll behave myself for now.

On Moving

2005-05-28T08:17:00.000-07:00

Well, today is D-Day. I'm moving.

My itinerary is that I'll be leaving Madison, for a bit, around Noon today, to meet Beth, of Yeah, Right, Whatever, in Rockford, so she can drag her mini-van up here to grab all the boxes that won't fit in my car. She's really nice that way. After that, I'm going down to Janesville for the evening, to say good-bye to Harvey, of Bad Example, and his loving wife, of Smiling Dynamite. Then, I'll head back down to Rockford, to meet with Guy S., of Snugg Harbor.

After all that, the driving begins. I'll be leaving Rockford on Monday, and start my way down to St Louis, and then, over to I-35, to get to Denton, TX, where I will meet up with LC Val, from the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler. I was going to swing by Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, to meet with TechieVampire, of Explicity Ambiguous, but, she had some health problems that made our planned meeting difficult. I was really looking forward to meeting her, but, her health is more important than my curiosity.

After Denton, it's down to Austin, or, more accurately, Round Rock, TX. Currently, I don't have a place to live, or a job, but, I've got pretty solid leads on both, so, this isn't a complete leap of faith. Just mostly.

For those of you who have my cell-phone number, it will still be active for another couple of weeks. My e-mail will still be active for a couple of weeks, as well, but, I'm not sure I will be able to access it with any regularity. As soon as I am established in Round Rock, I'll get a more current e-mail, and will actually get an update or five up here for y'all to mock.

After that, since I won't have quite so much taking up my precious little brain power, I'll probably be able to get some posts up with a touch more frequency than every other month.

On important announcements

2005-05-05T22:28:00.000-07:00

Okay, first of all, I'm sorry for the long absence. Life got to me. If it wasn't one thing, it was another, after another, after another, after another.

But, with some prayers (mine and some other people's), I made it through. I'll have more details in the near future. Some of y'all already know the details, or, most of the details, but, I'll put them up here anyway, for those who don't know, or don't know all the details.

Now, on to the important announcement.

The Great CheeseHead Invasion of The Republic of Texas is a "GO". Operations will start on May 27th, 2005. I will be taking a circuitous route, to prevent the Texans from knowing my exact entry point, so, I probably won't be actually entering Texas until May 30th or 31st. But, as of May 27th, 2005, I will no longer reside in the state of Wisconsin. My stuff won't even live here. Due to the confusion caused by the Invasion, I don't expect any actual interaction with the natives to be practical until the 1st or 2nd week of June, but, that is more for them to determine, rather than me. I'm only occupying the state. If they want to retain control of the state, they'll have to co-ordinate around my schedule.

More details to follow.

On reasons

2005-04-17T19:24:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't posted at all this week. This last week was WORSE than the week before.

I find it really hard to concentrate on writing when I'm so pissed, I can't see straight.

I finished all my routes without any help...barely. For all I know, I'm going to get suspended for three days for going over 60 hours...and I really don't care right now. My week was that bad.

I broke down 3 days in a row, and had to refuse to drive down some roads that were under construction...3 times in the same day.

In addition, I had a stop added to my route, which is no big deal...except I wasn't told about the stop until I was 1/2 hour away from it...and that was the closest I was ever going to get for the rest of the day.

Oh, the roads I refused to go down becuase of construction? I refused to go down them because the risk of getting my truck stuck, or, even worse, tipping it over, were too great. The next day, another driver, who was braver than I, went down the road...and got stuck. Sometimes, I really hate being right...this wasn't one of those times.

On more preaching

2005-04-09T14:07:00.000-07:00

Another post is up at Serenity Through Hope Ministries.

This one has to suck. If the last one didn't, this one does.

On stinky excuses

2005-04-08T22:56:00.000-07:00

I was going to put up some brilliant insight and Solomon-style wisdom today....but, I took a nap, instead.

A six hour nap. I lay down for my nap at about 5PM, and woke up around 11PM...nah, I wasn't tired. Not at all.

I'll put some stuff up tomorrow. Promise.

You can kidnap my cats as ransom, just to make sure.

Just make sure you kidnap the calico. The way the grey has been acting, I might not accede to your demands, just to teach her a lesson.

On a new look

2005-04-06T21:36:00.000-07:00

Here's a newer photo of me, to show y'all what I now look like.

In the 10 months since my last picture of me was taken, I've lost between 60 and 80 pounds.

Plus, I visited Texas...

I've gone native...

On prayer requests

2005-04-06T19:51:00.000-07:00

I have a request for y'all.

Pastor Rick hasn't been in the best of health for some months now. Pray for him. Just ask God for Him to heal Rick, and to comfort him. God will know what to do.

On Life, Part Deux

2005-04-05T18:13:00.000-07:00

Ugh. In the past two days, I've put in just under 27 hours, and picked up just about 30 tons of trash and recycling. Tommorrow ain't lookin' any better. Thursday always sucks. I'll get an early day on Friday, but, only because I'll be forced to clock out at 59 hours for the week.

So, this time, I actually have a decent reason for not blogging, here or at Serenity Through Hope Ministries. I'm just too bushed.

Update: I'm now up to 37 hours, and about 40 tons of trash...and it's only Wednesday. It's going to be a LOOOOOONG week....

Update the Second: I'm at 50 hours, and 50 tons....not only is this week getting longer and longer, it's getting worse...I spent 3 HOURS broken down today...

On beginnings

2005-04-02T14:45:00.000-08:00

Okay, I have my first post up at Serenity Through Hope Ministries.

I hope it doesn't suck.

It probably does, though.

On sickness

2005-03-29T19:01:00.000-08:00

I'm still sick. Ugh.

I'm hoping that I'll be better in the next day or two.

I hate being sick.

On life

2005-03-28T18:35:00.000-08:00

I hate it when life gets in the way of my plans.

I had some neato plans to do an intro over at SHTM, and a post or two here. But, it appears that, over the weekend, I managed to pick up a mild cold. Colds make my brain work about as well as tapioca pudding.

So, I'm not going to post anything tonight. Hopefully, I'll be better tomorrow.

I can't afford to miss work. I hope this is a mild cold.

On more announcements

2005-03-27T18:34:00.000-08:00

For those of you who don't know, I hate where I currently live. Over yonder, under my personal profile, I list my location as Middleton, WI. The City of Middleton, WI, is a suburb of Madison, WI...or, as it is known in more knowledgeable circles, Berkeley North, or Boston West. It is also known around Wisconsin as 64 square miles surrounded by reality. It is not a pleasant place, especially if one has a brain, and the will to use it.

So, last year, I hatched the plan for the Great CheeseHead Invasion of the Republic of Texas, and set the start of military operations for 2006. I had hopes that the Approprations Committee would release funds to make the Invasion possible. With some arm-twisting, I thought I might be able to invade in early 2006. Plans were made for a delay until 2007, if funds weren't able to be released.

Well, circumstances have forced me to change those plans. When I visited Dallas/Fort Worth, for Texas BlogFest, on the weekend of March 18-20, I fell in love. With Texas. With Dallas. With any place that isn't Madison, or it's surrounding communities. With any place where snow is an event, rather than a certainty. So, sometime this year, I will be escaping FROM Wisconsin, rather than TO Wisconsin. (Sorry, old tourism slogan...I've been here a LOOOOOOONGGG time.)

In the mean time, due to my nearly overwhelming distraction, due to daydreaming about living in Texas, posting will not be up to the (already low) normal quality you have become used to. I plan on posting frequently, due to having to get something up to earn my (literally non-existent) pay from STHM. But, I may not be able to get much up other than a "Good Lord, I miss Texas" post.

In addition, I will be moving out of my current place of residence, to live in a motel until I move. So, until I figure out how to get high speed service, I may not be able to get anything big up, due to the slow upload times of dial-up. I'll be home a lot more, and a lot sooner, since the motel will be about 1/2 mile from my work, but, it's still a flop-house motel. It's owned by a friend of mine, so, I may be able to swing getting a cable modem hooked up, but, I'm not planning on it.

To those of you in Texas, be forewarned, The Great CheeseHead Invasion is an occupation exercise, and it's possible I may be bringing other CheeseHeads with me. Quite a few of my acquaintances up here had their interest piqued by my descriptions of Texas. Many of them had just assumed that the rest of the US was just as screwed up as Wisconsin. I was happy to dispel those myths.

On announcements

2005-03-27T18:03:00.000-08:00

Okay, I've put this off long enough.

I have been asked by Pastor Rick Hill, Jr to join Serenity Through Hope Ministries as a "pastor". Rick and I have had some wonderful conversations over the past few months, and the other day, he asked me if I wanted to fufill my dream and minister to ministers. I only had one answer I could give. Of course I will.

So, starting on Monday, March 28th, I will be writing sermons periodically for Serenity Through Hope Ministries. I probably won't be as eloquent or as moving as Pastor Rick, but, I hope I can get y'all to think.

There is also a discussion forum that I will be contributing to, as well. On Monday, I'll get links up to all of the relevant sites, so y'all can visit me, and mock me, at your leisure.

Keep it fucking civil, though. Yeah, I'm talking to you, Kirk, or Curt, or Dirt, or whatever your name is today. You want to be a prick, do it here. I'm a big boy, I can take it. You do it in my fucking church, even if it is a virtual church, and I'm going to get pissed. You are free to be a prick every where else in the world. You don't have to inflict your prickness on others who are trying to improve their lives. Just because you are a hopeless twit, doesn't mean you have to try and convince others to be hopeless twits. STHM doesn't force anyone to go there, and it doesn't force anyone to convert, and it doesn't force anyone to believe what we believe. Remember that, the next time you think that we HAVE to allow you to post. We don't.

On March Madness

2005-03-27T17:39:00.000-08:00

Okay, we are now at the Final Four of the NCAA's Men's Basketball Tournament. I had been planning on doing a March Madness post quite some time ago, but, events had a way of distracting me. (More on that later) But, for what it's worth, here are my observations and thoughts about the Tournament.

First of all, I was pleasantly surprised to see my Wisconsin Badgers get as far as they did, and to play the teams that they did as tough as they did. I have always had a feeling that Coach Bo Ryan was going to do good things for Bucky, but, I couldn't have hoped that Bo was going to turn the Badgers from a dangerous, got-to-beat-them-if-you-want-to-be-taken-seriously team, to a near-powerhouse team within the NCAA, or even just the Big 10. Three straight appearances in the Big 10 Tournament finals, Big 10 champion, or co-Big 10 champion, for three straight years, three straight 20+ win years, appearances in the NCAA Tournament for five straight years, two Sweet Sixteen appearances...and Bo's only been the coach for five years. Within the next three years, I have a feeling I will get to see my Beloved Badgers in a Final Four game, and maybe even the Tournament Finals. Bo knows winning...he was the winningest coach in NCAA basketball in the 1990s, but, at Division 3 UW-Platteville, where he *only* won four Division 3 National Titles.

I have also been pleased to see the Big 10 make such a strong showing in the Tournament. Big 10 basketball is a different style of basketball than most of the other conferences play. It's not as athletic, it's not as high-scoring, it's not a casual fan friendly. But, it's a winning style of basketball. The Big 10 plays it's basketball the same way it plays it's football; hardnosed and defense oriented. Big 10 teams tend to use their defense as an offensive weapon: if they force enough turnovers and force enough low-percentage shots, the Big 10 team will get the ball, and start running the clock out with it's SLOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW offense. More possessions means more points, which means more wins. Don't get me wrong, the majority of the Big 10 stunk on ice this year. But, the top 3 teams in the Big 10 (Illios, Michigan State, and Wisconsin) have proven in this tournament that they are the equals of any team in the nation.

This tournament has also been one of the most exciting tournaments in recent memory, possibly even ever. We've had upsets, thrilling finishes, come-from-behind victories, overtime, and buzzer beaters...and that was in the past two days alone. Illinois coming from 14 points down with 4 minutes left to beat Arizona was a thrilling finish. Michigan State outlasting Kentucky in double overtime to advance was a nail-biter. North Carolina winning a heavy-weight slugfest against Wisconsin was a game where each team wouldn't quit. Louisville coming from 20 points down to beat West Virginia was near-miraculous. The whole tournament has been like that.

If forced to make a pick on the Finals, I would have to say Illinois will beat North Carolina by 6. I know every one is impressed with North Carolina's athleticism, and I would agree, except that North Carolina has to beat 2 Big 10 teams in a row to advance to the Finals, and I'm not sure they will have anything left after that. If Illinois beats Louisville, which I'm sure they will, because Illinios is just that good, North Carolina will have to beat a 3rd Big 10 team, in a row, to win. Athleticism got North Carolina this far, but, I think that it will fail when their athletes have to be pounded into hamburger by yet another Big 10 team. It's hard to be athletic when your body is a bruise. So, if I was a bettin' man, Illinois by 6.

I really want to see a Big 10 Finals, though. Illinois v. Michigan State. Maybe that will shut up all the Big 10 haters. Probably not, though. But, I can hope, can't I?

On Texas BlogFest 2005

2005-03-26T14:10:00.000-08:00

Some of you know, but, for those who don't, I spent the last weekend in Dallas, Texas, for Texas BlogFest 2005. It was a weekend that I will not soon forget, for many reasons. Not least of which is the fine and wonderful people I met while there.

Since many of the other attendees have put up much better After Action Reports than I can, I'm going to limit myself to what my impressions of everyone was.

First of all, the man who was the reason we went, Emperor Darth Misha I (Long may he reign) is grace and dignity personified. He is kind, and pleasant, and has a zest for life that just oozes from him. I count myself blessed to have been able to meet him. I would count myself cursed if I don't get to do it more often...

One of the organisers, Lord Spatula I, King and Tyrant (Long may he reign) is truly a good man. His TrainWreck Stew should be declared a national treasure, and I look forward to many more meetings with him.

The other organiser, Beth, is so charming and cheerful, it's sickening. Many a time, I found myself dragged kicking and screaming back towards cheerfulness, due to her insistence. She also seems to approach life with a zeal that is contagious, and infectious. Her husband, who could not attend, is a lucky man. I hope he knows that.

Mamamontezz and Delftsman are two of the more happy people you would ever meet. They seemed bound and determined to enjoy whatever they could while there. People like that are few and far between, and we need more of them.

Susan was grace and charm on two legs. She also had a smile that would light up the darkest room. I know I wasn't the only one who acted like an idiot schoolboy trying to get her to smile...ah, to see that smile again!

Nancy, her sister, was also a wonderful person. I must apologize to her, though. When we actually had a chance to talk, I was experiencing a rather drastic drop in blood pressure...which meant it was impossible for me to pay as much attention to what she was saying as she deserved. I hope to be able to make it up to her in the future.

ZiPpo The Pirate...my buccaneer friend, it is truly fortunate that you and I didn't spend more time together. I have a feeling it would have ended with a Butch and Sundance moment...or, rather, several of them. "You think you used enough dynamite, there, Devildog?" Soon, we'll have to test my theory out...

El Capitan, unfortunately, was not inflicted with my presence enough for me to form an adequate opinion of him. My first impressions of him are that he is a bright and intelligent man, with much caring in him. Plus, I always like a man who packs a .45. An armed society is a polite society.

The Randoms, of Random Numbers, are two very sweet people. At times, I felt like I was intruding on their time together, because their fondness for each other was so overwhelming. I regret that I didn't have more time to speak with them. But, I am glad that I got to see what two people who seem devoted to each other look like. I'll not forget your example. It was inspiring.

Andy, Andy, Andy. While our brief conversation was VERY brief, and consisted of me lecturing you quickly, I have to say that I'm glad that we didn't talk much more. Because of my experiences with liberal 'tolerance', 'openmindedness', and 'caring', I find I have very little patience with those of your ideals. It's not your fault. Truly. I'm glad that our conversation was as short as it was, to prevent either one of us from saying something to the other that would have left a bad taste. Sometimes, the best way to remain friendly with someone is to let them live their life, away from you. Maybe, after I escape Wisconsin, we could sit down and discuss things. But, in such a short time, it wasn't possible. I'm willing to make the effort if you are.

I had already had a chance to meet Deathknyte, but, within the confines of the state of Wisconsin. If there was anyone there who was sadder to return home than I, it was Deathknyte. You've outgrown your home, my friend. You may want to consider leaving it. You seemed more happy than a man has a right to expect while you were there. Consider it.

Denita and Eric are another couple that I feel blessed to have met. They are two people who are so different, yet, so similar. Denita is outgoing and fun, Eric is quiet and somber. (Although, with a judicious application of Scotch, Eric can loosen up quite a bit.) That is not to say that Eric is a killjoy, or a stick in the mud. More, it seems that he has as much fun watching his wife entertain, and be entertained, than if he were to actually be entertaining himself. I'll get a chance to observe more later. Sooner than I mentioned to you, Denita...possibly MUCH sooner.

To those of you who I did not have the chance to meet, or talk to, or talk to enough, I'm sorry. I had a too little time, and too many people to meet. I will be correcting that soon. VERY soon.

To those of you who I did have the time to talk to, thank you. Time is the most precious commodity a person has, and I am awed that y'all felt that I was worth the cost. I'll do my best to return the favor when I can.

I feel sick

2005-03-24T21:31:00.000-08:00

The Supreme Court of the United States has refused to review the case of Terri Schiavo.

Don't blame them. They are just doing their job, like we asked them to. All of us like to delegate our unpleasant tasks to others. I hope it was worth it to us this time.

Don't blame Micheal Schiavo, either. All he is doing is taking our behavior to the extreme. All of us like to treat others as objects rather than people. I hope it was worth it this time.

Don't blame Judge Greer. All he is doing is giving us what we want. We want courts to ignore justice when the law works in our favor, and to ignore the law when justice works in our favor. I hope it was worth it this time.

Blame yourself. And your neighbor. And me. All of us have acted like Micheal Schiavo at some time. And we'll do it again. And again. And again. I hope it's worth it.

If you will excuse me, I have to go throw up. And then, I'm going to take a shower. And then, I'm going to pray.

After that, I'm going to look for a power sander and some bleach, to get the stains and smell out of my soul.

And then I'm going to cry.

On one last excuse

2005-03-23T19:22:00.000-08:00

Sorry, guys. I'm still hurting from having to return to *here*. I hope the pain will die down to a dull ache by tomorrow. If it doesn't, I'll post anyway.

On changes

2005-03-22T17:41:00.000-08:00

...I have just taken the most amazing phone call...I'm going into ministry! I'll have some more details soon...

I'm Homesick

2005-03-20T20:56:00.000-08:00

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Homesick by Mercy Me

On To Reign In Hell

2005-03-13T14:50:00.000-08:00

To Reign In Hell, by Steven Brust, is a fantasy novel about how The Fall of Satan may have occured. I bought the book because I've read most of the Vlad Taltos series by Steven, and enjoyed them immensely. So, picked up this book to see if his other stuff was just as good.

It is.

As Roger Zelazny said in his forward, The Fall of Satan isn't exactly what one would call a "safe topic" to do a novel about. One would have to walk a very fine line to keep from offending a significant portion of one's readership. Milton may have done it, in Paradise Lost, but few would even dare to try and recreate that success. Steven does, and not only walks that fine line between canon and heresy, he walks it, and doesn't stumble in the least.

The central plot of the story is that Yaweh and Satan are basically tricked into The Fall, by a rogue angel. The scheming and plotting that takes place between the two sides is set into motion by an angel that is jealous of Satan. So, he contrives to knock Satan down a notch by setting him up. Events quickly spiral out of control, forcing both sides to openly declare their hostility towards each other, and each side doing what they MUST do, to insure their survival and success.

Yaweh is not a simpleton, nor is he an autocratic ogre. He is a leader who forces himself to look at the greater good, and then forces himself to make the sacrifices neccessary for the greater good. He is so consumed with love for his "subjects" (he's really more of the first amongst relative equals), that he is willing to sacrifice some, possibly many, of them to insure the survival of the greatest number of them. It is a decision he doesn't like, yet, it is one he HAS TO make, because of his love.

Satan, on the other hand, is Yaweh's best friend. While Yaweh was first, Satan came second. So, Satan and Yaweh have known each other for longer than any of the other angels have existed. The act that created Satan also created Heaven and the other angels, so, Yaweh and Satan are the first amongst the angels. When Yaweh asks Satan to do something that Satan doesn't really want to do, it immediately causes strife within the hosts of angels, because if Satan doesn't want to do it, it must be bad, yet, would Yaweh really ask Satan to do something that bad?

None of the angels, with Yaweh or with Satan, are really portrayed in a bad light. They are more like people, who react to situations, AS THEY SEE THEM, in the best way they know how. Mephistopholes, in particular, is a rather enjoyable character, who is quick of wit, and slow to judge. His choice, in the end, is more forced upon him than chosen.

In all, I seriously rank this book right up there with I, Claudius for the scheming. It's not quite as good, but, the characters are more enjoyable, and the scheming is a little better to keep track of. If you like fantasy, or like light theology, or just like a good political scheming tale, I think you will really enjoy this book.

If you are a Christian, it could cause you to look at Satan in a different light, and Jesus as well. Not an Earth-shattering, loss-of-faith light, but, a different way of looking at the two of them. They are enemies, not so much because of any personal animosity towards each other, but, simply because they have completely different goals, and viewpoints, that do not lend themselves to compromise with each other. In essence, they are enemies because they HAVE to be enemies.

If you aren't a Christian, it's still a good read, and will give you a glimpse into why God allows bad things to happen. Yaweh's reasonings for why he allows things to happen is logical, and based on caring, rather than autocracy and dictatorship. I'm not going to say it will convert you, but, it will give you an idea of why God allows bad things to happen.

On excuses

2005-03-13T14:25:00.000-08:00

Sorry about the lack of posting recently. I've been tuckered. Thinking has been too much of a strain on my brain, much less trying to think enough to put something up.

On Quizie-poos.

2005-03-07T17:35:00.000-08:00

Okay, thanks to Delftsman, I just HAD to take a stupid quiz. Just.had.to. I took it, and was pleasantly suprised by my result. It's an English quiz. Take it, and find out how well you know the more confusing words in the English language.

My results will be in the comments.

On Unintended Side Effects

2005-03-06T18:16:00.000-08:00

This weekend, I had my first two unintended side-effects of being a (not-so-diligent) blogger. I finally got to see an old friend of mine, from about six years ago, on Saturday, and I got to meet a new person on Sunday.

Harvey, of IMAO and Bad Example, used to be an employee of mine, when I was a manager of a pizza joint. Although, our roles should have been reversed. He knew far more about successful management than I did, and I'm a much better employee than employer. But, anyway, Harvey and I used to close the store down on Friday nights with some beer, cigars, and war stories from our Navy and Marine Corps days. Saturday night, we got to reprise those nights. It was more fun than should be legal.

Sunday, DeathKnyte drove down to visit for a couple of hours. Poor guy. He had to drive 3 1/2 hours to spend about 3 1/2 hours listening to me flap my gums, to drive back another 3 1/2 hours. I could have given him some suggestions of better ways to spend his time than listening to my yap, if he had just asked....

On The Politically Incorrect Guide to American History

2005-02-27T12:07:00.000-08:00

Okay, time for another book review of a book I haven't finished. But, this time, it's for a different reason.

I haven't finished this book yet, simply because my head would explode if I didn't put a review of it up here, RIGHT NOW! I've been trying to hold off until I was done with the book, for about four or five days now, but, I can't.

This book is just too darn important for me to not reccomend it. If I have to put up a partial review, just to get y'all to run out and buy it, so be it. I'll do it.

It takes a lot for a book to teach me something about history, and especially US military history, that I wasn't already at least passingly familiar with. This book does it, on each and every page. Seriously. There hasn't yet been a page that didn't teach me something new, or burst an incorrect idea that I had about the history of the US. That takes some doing, and some rock-solid research.

The Politically Incorrect Guide to American History, written by Thomas E. Woods, Jr, PhD (I hate it when PhDs insist on being called "doctor"...Mr Woods doesn't.), is not an exhaustive study of American history, nor is it a detailed study of American history. Rather, it is a quick skimming of all the misconceptions that most (including moi...sorry for the fwench lingo) Americans have about their history.

F'rinstance, Hebert Hoover actually DID make the Great Depression worse, but, not through inaction. Rather, the only president who meddled with the US economy more than Hoover was his successor...Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Who turned the Great Depression from a disaster to a catastrophe. In addition, World War II did NOT bring the US out of the Depression. FDR's death did. These are not charges that are just flung about by Mr. Woods, but, are researched and laid out to see, for anyone with just a hair more than a passing familiarity with The New Deal and economics.

In addition, it takes a lot for me to have my respect for Woodrow Wilson lowered. I wasn't aware that I could have less respect for that clown than I did. Well, Mr. Woods dropped my respect for Wilson to slightly LOWER than the respect I have for Clintoon. Seriously. After each page dealing with Wilson, all I could say was, "He was a bigger clown that I thought!". And each page made me think he was a bigger clown that the previous page. Incredible.

The section that hurt the most, though, was the section on the US Civil War, and Abraham Lincoln. I have heard some rumblings and grumblings throughout the community of sensible historians that Lincoln wasn't as good of a president that every one thought he was. And Mr. Woods shows us why. I'll just say that Lincoln and the Republicans (pre-, during, and post-war) taught the modern-day Dhimmicrat Party every thing they know about governance. And they weren't lessons that we really wanted them to know.

About the only section that didn't teach me anything new was the section on the Red Scare of the 30s, 40s, and 50s. In a nutshell, Sen Joseph "Tailgunner Joe" McCarthy (R-WI) was wrong about the number of Soviet sympathizers (he didn't say spies...he said sympathizers)...by about a factor. As Mr. Woods says, books on Sen. McCarthy tend to be rather long, and well researched, so, Mr. Woods doesn't devote a whole lot of time or effort to the subject, but, he certainly gets our feet wet. Mr. Woods does reference the Venona Project's declassification in 1996, which showed that, with only a minor fraction of cables decrypted, there were 350 Soviet sympathizers, and spies, in the US Government. And that's with only about 10% or so of the cables declassified...Soviet records of the time push that number up to about 1,000...including a certain advisor to Clintoon, Harold Ickes, Jr. But, I got that name, and the latter number, from Ann Coulter's book, Treason.

Yet another revision of thought of mine that this book caused was my estimation of Warren G. Harding and Calvin Coolidge. Warren did have an awfully corrupt administration, but, he didn't do much else to the US. Calvin Coolidge did even less. Strangely, both presidents saw nearly unprecedented growth of the economy...Neither president meddled in foreign politics, tinkered with the US economy, or left some legacy building social ~~fiasco~~ program. For that alone, we should raise our estimation of their presidencies. The US economy does just fine, thank you very much, when it is LEFT ALONE! Even Ronaldus Magnus didn't do that. Granted, he tinkered less, but, he still tinkered. Coolidge and Harding were probably the only two US presidents who were smart enough to leave the US economy alone, and we should thank them for that. Now, if we can just convince our current (and future) president of that, I'll have a little more hope about the fate of the US.

All in all, if you want just the bare-bones treatment of the REAL American history, buy this book. If you want a more in-depth analysis of real American history, buy this book, and use it as a checklist. If you would like your myths dispelled, and cherished beliefs crushed, buy this book. If you would like to crush cherished beliefs, and dispell beliefs, buy this book. If you just want to be more knowledgeable than you were before, buy this book. If you just want an entertaining read, buy this book. In short, buy this book. And then, read it. You will NOT be disappointed. Unless you are a MoonBat, or Progressive Liberal. Y'all aren't too keen on the truth, anyway. This much fact and knowledge could cause you to actually think, which leads to conservatism. And we know how much you want that.

On Shut Up And Sing

2005-02-22T19:21:00.000-08:00

Okay, time for another book review.

Shut Up And Sing, by Laura Ingraham, is a fine book. It is well-written, and rather extensively lays out how out of touch the Elites are in the United States. BUT, (there's always a "but...") I won't be finishing the book. It's not the book's fault. Not in the least.

I won't be finishing the book because Laura doesn't say a darn thing I haven't heard before, from someone else. This is mostly my fault, because I read quite a bit, and have devoured many books of social and political studies of current America. Laura isn't as nasty as Ann Coulter, isn't as strident as Larry Elder, and doesn't have the inside scoop that Bernard Goldberg or Tammy Bruce does. All in all, Laura is just too darn polite to do the book justice. With the words "Shut Up" in the title, I was expecting a touch more venom and vitriol than was actually present.

All in all, it's a fine book, and Laura does skewer both Liberal and Conservative Elites with the same relish. Obviously, she skewers more Liberals than Conservatives... I would have finished this book, if I hadn't read so many other books dealing with the same, or similar, topic, or, if she had a new way of looking at the situation.

Frankly, I'm too sick and tired of the Liberal nonsense to put up with politeness.

Laura is hotter than Ann Coulter, though. So, it's not a total waste.